centre of the universe

Tag: button theory

  • Blinders – NaBloPoMo Day 3

    Sometimes I’m positive the dog has the right idea. Probably this is why people started keeping their domesticated animals in their houses with them; they saw reflected in their animal buddies aspects of their own natures that they couldn’t quite talk about for whatever reason. Maybe they couldn’t name it because they were afeared. Maybe […]

  • A list

    Things #PrincessSassypants is afraid of: Leaves Certain kinds of paper The poop bag holder (that’s shaped like a bone) My skirt Little pieces of dust bunnies Her own farts The wind A stalk of grass Gloves (mittens are fine) Dining chairs The sound Twitter makes when I forget to turn off the notification sound The […]

  • What’s art got to do with it?

    What’s art got to do with it?

    I was in Calgary recently.  You remember this from such classics as “I lost the King in Yellow” and “damn, that was a good Manhattan, even without the cherries”. Well. Maybe not that last bit. That may have been a *private* experience. At any rate, while being chauffered to the aeroport for my return jaunt, […]

  • In Public, Sober.

    One night, as I lay in bed…okay, actually, technically, I think it was one morning. But it was still dark. Because it’s frigging winter and the sun is being coquettish. So either it was night time or early morning, and I was lying in bed, and His Nibs was lying beside me, and please forgive […]

  • Drunlsweet

    Yesterday morning, I had a PROCEDURE done. A medical PROCEDURE. The doctor came in to talk to me, asked what the problem is, and I told him. He asked, “do you drink?” I said, “Not really.” He said, “Why not?” And I thought that was odd. I mean, I do have a drink now and […]

  • Sage Words of Advice

    “I really really wish that it wasn’t just expected that boys are supposed to ask girls out on a date. Because all of the guys I know are super shy and are terrified of asking girls out on a date. I mean, girls are pretty comfortable telling people that they like someone. “Most of the […]

  • Naughty

    His Nibs and I went to a Store yesterday for the purpose of purchasing a Bed. “Dear God, cenobyte,” you are thinking, “have you no BED!? How can you *live* like that?” Rest assured, gentle reader, I have a bed. It is a fine bed. A noble bed. A warm and inviting bed. However, His […]

  • Bad Things, Good People

    You want to know why Bad Things Happen to Good People? Because shit happens, that’s why. Because nothing is certain. Because people are animals. They are unpredictable, and are often cruel to one another. Because animals are territorial and aggressive. Because we do self-destructive things. Because our genes are just wonky. Because we’re selfish and […]

  • Phantom Phixit

    Often times, when Folks come over, we retire after the childrens are in bed, to the Loft. If you haven’t been to Chez Relaxo (shame on you), the Loft is above the detached garage. Last night, Dionysus and I retired to the Loft to discuss things about which we were becoming Very Excited (more on […]

  • Bull sharks would be way more badass if they were bull heads on shark bodies. Or shark heads on bull bodies.

    But they’re not. They’re just regular, run-of-the-mill sharks who’ve developed the ability to live in fresh water. Which is totally not so effed up as to be mildly panic-inducing. If you’re the sort of person who’s afraid of sharks.  Which I’m not. Because around here, the freshwater freezes, and I’m pretty bloody sure *no sharks* […]