“I really really wish that it wasn’t just expected that boys are supposed to ask girls out on a date. Because all of the guys I know are super shy and are terrified of asking girls out on a date. I mean, girls are pretty comfortable telling people that they like someone.
“Most of the guys really like someone, but they don’t want to say anything because they’re scared the girls aren’t going to like them back. You know,I find that every guy I know is so shy; even when it comes to asking girls to help with homework assignments. They think the girl will think that the boy likes them, and 1) if it’s the girl they have a big crush on, she’ll just get grossed out over it, or 2) if it’s not the girl they have a big crush on, they don’t want to disappoint them by having so say ‘I’m sorry, I don’t have a big crush on you’.
“We just don’t have the guts to ask a girl out.
“With everything I’ve heard so far, they all say that the girls expect the guys to ask them out and it won’t be the other way around. The girls think it’ll be like those romantic movies, and they just tell you that the guys have to ask girls out. And the only guy who’s going to ask a girl out in our grade is the dude who’s a total showoff, and none of the girls like him.”
Sage advice from a twelve-year-old.
Please note the following passage from the Girls’ Secret Handbook:
If you like a boy, you must never reveal to him that you like him, because then he will either assume you are a creature of loose morals, and therefore he will not want to pursue a relationship with you (for who wants a partner of ill repute?), or he will assume you are teasing him, and will be offended at your attempt to manipulate his emotions. No, it is best to remain taciturn and allow yourself to be pursued. Males prefer to take a more active role in the courtship ritual, and therefore, we can assume this is their preference.
Now I know that entire swaths of the Secret Girl Handbook are somewhat, shall we say, out of date…however, this passage has been retained in the new editions of the Handbook. And, according to the Secret Boy Handbook, this information is bogus. Therefore, young women, please do not be afraid to express yourselves with the young men. Chances are good they are just trying to make you happy.
Young men, there is a good chance that the advice you are getting is based on outdated information.