Provincial Cannabis Survey

So according to a recent article in the local paper, “the majority of Saskatchewan residents” aren’t interested in trying marijuana once it becomes legal federally on 17 October. According to me, this is precisely how those surveys went:

“Hi, we’re conducting a survey about marijuana…”
“what’s that?”
“When marijuana becomes legal, will you try it?”
“No-“
“KTHXBAI”
“-because I smoked so much of it in the 60s you could probably wring it out of my…hello? Hello? Are you still there?” https://t.co/4J8h0qlC49

— Millicent Bystander ⚡ (@cenobyte) June 22, 2018

“Hello, this is a survey about -”
“SCAMMER! SCAMMER!” *click*

“…Gerry, I don’t think we’re going to get a representative sample of opinions on this Saskatchewan marijuana survey…”
“KEEP CALLING, KAREN. WE DON’T PAY YOU TO SPECULATE.”
“*sigh*”

— Millicent Bystander ⚡ (@cenobyte) June 22, 2018

*Ring*
“Hello?”
“Hello. This is a survey for Saskatchewan residents about marijua-”
“It’s Patrick!”
“…uh. What?”
“He took out life insurance!”
“No, I’m calling bec-”
“Listen, do you have coverage for someone else I *care* about?”
“I…”
“Is there a medical exam?”#LifeWithMe

— Millicent Bystander ⚡ (@cenobyte) June 22, 2018

“Gerry, I really don’t think this marijuana survey is getting the results we need.”
“Karen. We’ve discussed this.”
“Okay, but there’s going to be a skewed-”
“KAREN.”
*sigh*

— Millicent Bystander ⚡ (@cenobyte) June 22, 2018

*Ring*
“Hello?”
“Yes, hello, I’m calling with a survey about recreational mari-”
“Who?”
“I’m doing a survey? About recreational Mari-”
“Sherry?”
“Survey.”
“Surrey? I have a sister in Surrey.”
“No, a SURVEY.”
“She died last year.”
“Oh, I’m…I’m sorry.”
“She had gout.”
“…”

— Millicent Bystander ⚡ (@cenobyte) June 22, 2018

*Ring*
“Hello?”
“I’m calling with a survey about recreational marijuana use in Saskatchewan, do you have a few minutes?”
“Fuck yeah.”
“You do? Oh! Okay. Um. Well, when marijuana becomes -”
“Where do I sign up?”
“What?”
“For the recreational weed?”
“Oh, this is just a survey…”

— Millicent Bystander ⚡ (@cenobyte) June 22, 2018

*Ring*
“Hello?”
“I’m calling with a survey about recreational marijuana, do you have a few minutes?”
“Yeah man. I’m high as fuck right now.”
“…so when it become legal, will you be trying it?”
“They’re making it legal?”
“…yes?”
“FUCKING A. Dan! THEY’RE MAKING WEED LEGAL!”

— Millicent Bystander ⚡ (@cenobyte) June 22, 2018

*ring*
“Hello?”
“*heavy sigh*”
“Hello?”
“I just. I just can’t do this anymore.”
“Are you okay? Who is this?”
“*sigh* I’mcallingwithasurveyaboutrecreationalmarijuanadoyouhaveafewminutes”
“Um. Sure?”
“*sigh* whenitbecomeslegalwillyoutryit”
“Maybe?”
“*sigh*Thanksforyourtime”
*click*

— Millicent Bystander ⚡ (@cenobyte) June 22, 2018

*Ring*
“Hello?”
“Hello. This is a survey about recreational marijuana, do you have a few minutes?”
“You know who should be using that shit is the goddamned Liberals.”
“Uh…this is a provincial -”
“That boob Trudeau is screwing the whole country”
“…thanks for your time”
“ASS!”

— Millicent Bystander ⚡ (@cenobyte) June 22, 2018

*ring*
“Hello?”
“…”
“Hello?”
“…*sigh*…”
“Is this a survey about recreational marijuana?”
“…*sob*…”
“Hey. Hey listen. I’ll. Um. I’ll try it. Just. Just don’t cry, okay?”
“…*sniffle*…”
“Look, I’ll grow some too, okay?”
“…*shuddery breath*”
“I’ll fucking SELL it.”

— Millicent Bystander ⚡ (@cenobyte) June 22, 2018

Final results of survey on whether SK residents will be trying recreational marijuana when it’s legal.

Infographic: pic.twitter.com/s2Zp0q0KVx

— Millicent Bystander ⚡ (@cenobyte) June 22, 2018