Just Another Happy Plant

The circled portion of this plant has been waving at me and not doing any kind of mind control for the past half hour.

Okay so there’s this plant in my office. I don’t know what it’s called (maybe some kind of hoya “wax plant” or something), but it’s a thing that kind of vines and sends out runners and it’s awesome. We inherited it from the shady travel agency when it (the shady travel agency, not the plant) got raided by the police. This was shortly before the police raided the grow-op on the OTHER side of us. We’ve since moved.

Anyway, we have this plant. It’s in a very sunny window which it has been enjoying greatly, as I can tell by the happiness of its leaves. But it’s been sending out this runner. And today, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. The runner was waving around like it was employing the communications device known as “muppet arms”. I gleefully pointed this out to my co-worker who informed me that the plant does this on a regular basis.

As I watched, giggling gleefully because, let’s be clear, this is basically the most exciting thing to happen in my entire life, the runner stem flipped itself back overtop of the bookshelf where it normally hangs out. I had assumed the thing was moving because of air currents and whatnot, but now it’s completely clear that the plant has been waving at me. Now the stem is gently bouncing up and down hypnotically. I’m sure we can all agree this is perfectly safe and normal plant behaviour and is not in any way related to mind control.

So I’ve been sitting at my desk, clapping and laughing while the plant waves at me. This is basically the best day of my life.

cenobyte is a writer, editor, blogger, and super genius from Saskatchewan, Canada.


  1. I’ve had some interesting experiences with our “vegetative bower” but I have yet to have a plant induce hallucinations FROM ACROSS THE ROOM. This leads me to the logical conclusion that either (a) you are twice the chlorophylic empath that I’ll ever be or (b) you have finally flipped your ever-lovin corn-rowed wig. Have you switched to impulse-engine power? Way scary, dude.

  2. My sister had one of those demon plants (la jolla, i think) that would weave itself in and out of the loosely woven curtains,,,i always had the feeling that it was reaching for my throat when i sat beside it at night, reading. Didn’t help that it could weave through two or three spaces an evening…ugh!

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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