Shopping List

It wasn’t until I’d sat down in the car that I realised why the woman at the store had been avoiding eye contact like the plague.

These were the products I purchased:

liquid skin
massage oil
flavoured K-Y
6 250-mL bottles of water
handheld vibrating ‘massager’
A5-35 Hot Patches
Tiger Balm (white hot)
Hard Wax Home Brazilian kit
Epsom Salts
Dark Chocolate

Note: I was at the drugstore, not the sex store.

*And the best part was, not all of this was for me!

cenobyte is a writer, editor, blogger, and super genius from Saskatchewan, Canada.


  1. It’s probably best not to. The woman at the check-out was very snarky. She’s probably sexually repressed.

  2. I’m having some…difficulty…with the words “Big Troy” and “Brazilian Wax” in such close proximity…(love you, man)

  3. A guy came into my store and bought a hacksaw, a hatchet, 200 feet of rope, and a tarp. I looked him in the eye and said ‘You’re not going to end up on the news using this stuff will you?’ He laughed, ‘I’m pulling down a tree and stripping it down.’Hilarious.

  4. Where can you still buy smokes at a pharmacy? Was found to be a conflict of interests in Ontario like 15 years ago.

  5. Ah, anywhere west of Ontario (or east of Ontario, I think), you can still buy cigarettes at Shopper’s Drug Mart.

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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