Do you have a toddler or an Elderly Resident in your home? Are you worried about those nasty Sharp Corners on coffee tables? Well, worry no more! New and improved* Mungbrain the Cat will rub those sharp edges right down past the veneer!
Act now and we’ll include several bits of Very Expensive Yarn that are Irretrievably Tangled, for those times when your young or old wards have Nothing Better To Do!
Each Mungbrain the Cat comes complete with a digestive system**!
Mungbrain the Cat will “mark his territory” by rubbing his oral scent glands all over the corners of your coffee table***. Given only several short years, your bruised shins, your toddler’s bruised foreheads, and your elderly resident’s bruised hips will be things of the past!
Get two Mungbrains the Cat**** and double the efficiency of their corner-grinding abilities! Simply pay extra shipping, handling, and medical treatment charges.
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*Actual products may not be new or improved.
**We do not guarantee digestive systems will function as expected.
***Territory marked by product does not actually constitute transfer of ownership. This company bears no liability on territory marked by product. Alternate methods of marking not included.
****No actual cats included with this offer.
i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.