just wondering

If I’m the sort of person who makes crap up on a regular basis, is it okay to put “fabricator” on my resume? I’m pretty sure it is. I mean, if there comes a time when I’m in the office of some giant manufacturing company and they’re all, “it says here on your resume that you’re a fabricator.”

I’d be all, “yup. You betcha. I fabricate with the best of them. With fabric and without! Ha!”

And they’d be all, “Um. Well. Can you tell me where you got this experience?”

And I’d be all, “Buddy, I was BORN with this ability.”

And they’d be all, “Er.”

And I’d be all, “That’s right. BORN with it. You need something fabricated, you come to me.”

And they’d be all, “do you know what ‘fabricator’ means?”

And I’d be all, “Yup.”

And they’d be all, “…”

And I’d be all, “Oh, what, you don’t know? Okay, well. A fabricator is actually a neologism from ‘fabricate’, indicative of someone who undertakes the act of fabrication.”

And they’d be all, “a neolo..what now?”

And I’d be all, “well. I’m *assuming* it’s a neologism. I don’t have my etymological encyclopaedia with me.”

And they’d be all, “I don’t think that…”

And I’d be all, “I’ll bring it tomorrow. What time do I start?”

And they’d be all, “but…”

And I’d be all, “9:00am it is! But I go to the gym in the morning, so I’ll be in at 10. You’re cool with that, right?”

And they’d be all, “I don’t…”

And I’d be all, “Excellent! I shall begin fabricating as soon as I get in at 10 am!”

And that is how I will get my next job as a fabricator.

cenobyte is a writer, editor, blogger, and super genius from Saskatchewan, Canada.

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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