I can not put my finger on it

In high school, I swam every day after class. Lap after lap, until I could barely walk. I remember the feeling of my muscles, pulling me through the water, strong…sure. I could be confident in the water. I could block out everything else and push myself to the edge of exhaustion, a place I could come back from, shaking, full of endorphins, with the crap that had filled my day falling away with every drop of water that fell from my shoulders…there is no pain; you are receding

“You would not understand/this is not how I am” is pretty much my theme song. My anthem.

Right around the time when my arms and shoulders started to scream, when my legs refused to kick in rhythm, this is the song that would run through my head. This is the song that kept me going for another 50 laps. When the fall comes, leading into winter, this is the song I hear when I look at the last of the blue skies. This song has meaning.

The ethereal guitar and pulsing rhythm are also a perfect representation of how I would describe what it feels like to be stoned.


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i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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