A New Understanding

I don’t know what happened, but somewhere along the line, you lost interest. And that’s okay; it just means I have to rejig my understanding of us. Or rather, my understanding of what ‘us’ means.

It could be that there is no ‘us’. There is just a slightly uncomfortable acknowledgement of one another when our paths cross. Or perhaps a shared look, or a curt nod. Sometimes, we might share a laugh.

You don’t have to apologise.

We are in a constant state of flux, learning more about ourselves, about the universe, thinking. We are always thinking. It’s natural that the more you learn, the easier it is to form opinions about where you need to be.

There’s really no period of mourning, either. It’s simply a readjustment. As long as I know what to expect from this relationship, I know how to categorise my experiences. I don’t have to have expectations. I don’t have to be hurt, and I don’t have to  want things to be different.

In retrospect, I’ve been silly. I often make the mistake of expecting certain behaviours right out of the gate when in fact, I should first observe existing and past behaviour and then extrapolate possible actions based on that. It leads to far less disappointment in the end.

So I’m okay with walking away from this thing we never had. To be honest, our new relationship frees up a lot of time I could be spending elsewhere, either on my own self, or on those who want my affection. That sounds really petty and whiny, and it isn’t meant to. Really, all I’m saying is that I don’t pretend, and I don’t deal well with people who do.

I’m all about the real thing, baby.






i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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