centre of the universe

Tag: piss in your eye

  • Who puts the ‘D’ in….”Dystopia”?

    Okay first, right off the hop, let me just say that yes, like a twelve-year-old, I have been snickering at the question “who puts the ‘D’ in ‘Dystopia’”. Dystopian fiction used to be among my favourite genres …styles… of fiction. I still do love me a well-crafted dystopian tale, but lately I’ve been approaching this…

  • Why a Communications Strategy is imperative

    Man, that sounds boring. Bear with me, okay? Whether you are running a business, employed as a writer or PR or communications staff, or whether you’re running or managing a minor sports team, a dance troupe, or a non-profit, you need a communications strategy. This might be as simple as “I have everyone’s email and…

  • Competition?

    Hi cenobyte, How have you been? I understand you only wanted to communicate to your previous consultant but I am emailing you now check on the update for your book. We are celebrating our 17th anniversary this month and we’re giving out almost more than 50% discount. I am not sure if you are particular…

  • Cherie from the vanity press called today

    I received correspondence today from the vanity press that keeps contacting me. You remember this from such escapades as Nathan’s going to publish my manifesto and Suggestions for Nathan regarding my manifesto and A Mouthful of Marbles and Nathan’s gone missing. A woman called “Cherie [REDACTED] a Publishing Consultant from [REDACTED]” contacted me today. Below is my…

  • NATHAN, WHERE ARE YOU?

    In January, I was contacted by Ex Libris, a vanity press that uses extremely aggressive marketing techniques to bilk writers out of their hard-earned income. I have asked repeatedly to be taken off of their contact lists, to no avial. When they contacted me in January 2014, I began a lengthy correspondence with my contact…

  • Dear Nathan – IMPORTANT INFORMATION

    I got a phone message from Nathan! (The ‘consultant’ Ex Libris has assigned to my book.) It was the same voice mail that he’s left the past three or four times he’s called. He’s very persistent. Unfortunately for Nathan, I don’t answer telephone calls for which I do not recognize the phone number. Fortunately for…

  • Dear Nathan – Editors

    Dear Nathan, I was thinking about who you should get to edit my manifesto. I mean manuscript. My eleventh grade English teacher came to mind, but after she was accused of gross vandalism, criminal harassment, stalking, and destruction of property she kind of disappeared off the face of the planet. I heard she was living…

  • Dear Nathan

    A few years ago, I decided to engage in some corporate espionage. I work in the field of book publishing, and I had been hearing rather a lot about vanity presses like Ex Libris. Normally, I don’t like naming the names of companies that I’m complaining about because normally they have some redeeming qualities. I’m…

  • You’re out of control

    I wasn’t going to say anything about this. I’ve been trying to decrease the number of negative things I put out there into the megaverse, but I think I can’t sit on this any longer. Dear CTV host Michelle Gerwing and Newstalk1010: Every time you make comments like “what are all the wives – the…

  • Protected: Medical Records Rant: Update

    There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.