centre of the universe

Tag: Kids

  • The Kids are Alright

    It started out fairly inocuously; Kid the Younger and their paramour, a few friends we haven’t seen in a while, and a few of KtY & P’s friends just hanging out and watching movies, playing games. Some of us were upstairs in my childhood home and some of us were downstairs. There was a bit…

  • Back to Back to School

    A Story of Parenting, Told in School Supplies Kindergarten, First Child: I purchased these school supplies over a year ago, have been awake since Friday labelling every pencil, every marker, every individual crayon, every eraser, and every individual tissue in the box. I have labelled every article of my child’s clothing, and moved on to…

  • NEKKIT

    NEKKIT

    I have to start this out with a story about self-confidence. A couple of years ago, when I first started going to the gym, I was showering after my workout at about the same time a shriek of girls were at the pool for their swimming lessons. As is the case with most change rooms,…

  • Shelf this.

    So here’s the thing. Nigh on about this time of year, I start seeing all this crap about ‘elf on a shelf’. The basic premise is that there’s this satanic doll that lives on a shelf in your house and it watches you with a keen Orwellian eye to your behaviour, and if you fuck…

  • Treat. Seriously. Treat.

    He organised his own Hallowe’en party – invited a few friends over this afternoon, and by the time they’d gone mumming, there were 20 kids and six parents in their group. They came home together, and I plied the parents with coffee and tea and then tried to breathe deeply as the children, ranging in…

  • Eyewear, pocketbook, wristwatch

    Before we get too far into this, I want you to go here and listen to The Faint’s Dress Code. Especially you, Meatbum. I’ll wait. I think it’s my new favourite thing ever invented. And, while you’re doing that, I’m just going to say I miss Devo. Okay. You’re back. Awesome! Dress code. Gender bias.…