centre of the universe

Category: Mum

  • Small Kindnesses

    Small Kindnesses

    When my mom died, we asked people to bring rocks (she liked this Jewish tradition of remembrance) to put in a basket in her memory. Some folk painted rocks, some folks brought little ceramic knickknacks and gewgaws, others brought rocks from their gardens or farms, or maybe just from out in the parking lot. I […]

  • The Last Thing

    Grief is an oscillation between want and have, between need and want, between here and gone. It does strange things to a person. When my mother died I kept saying to my aunt, over and over, “this must be so hard for you”. A Freudian might call it transference. My aunt finally broke and asked […]

  • 40 years

    ‪Some anniversaries we don’t need to remember. ‬ ‪My father just called to remind me that it was 40 years ago today that his father, my Gramps, was killed in a farm accident. ‬ ‪Do you have a singular day that changed the trajectory of your life?‬ ‪I remember that day with crystal clarity. It […]

  • I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas

    We have come to my childhood home for ExMass. I haven’t been “home” for Christmas since the year before Mum died. Ive been back to the house many times with the boys, but not in winter. not at Christmas. This was always her holiday. We arrived after supper and decorated the tree. I went from […]

  • But sometimes, good things happen

    I have been pooping an awful lot on and around social media lately. The truth of the matter is that I haven’t missed effbook at all since we broke up. We still see each other now and then in the grocery store, and while we may not make eye contact, we at least can say […]

  • Your smile

    I pulled back the curtain, but I don’t know what I expected to see. Nothing, I suppose. But still, with the wishes I have made on a thousand eyelashes, on as many dull pennies found in the gutter, I wished. I thought maybe…maybe. My wishes are used now. I’ll not see you again. Not in […]

  • Happy Birthday

    Today is your sixty-fifth birthday. Time for the government to start paying you back, ha-ha. I would have brought you a cake in the shape of enormous breasts, and joked that if you held it down around your waist you’d recognise what it was supposed to be. The boys would have made you cards and […]

  • She hated this day

    Mostly because her mother died on Mother’s Day (which was also her sister’s birthday), and ever after, she hated Mother’s Day. She didn’t want cards or gifts or even hugs. It was as if her own mother’s death had taken from her her own status as a mother. I never said this to her, but […]

  • There are times when, according to some folks, Yours Truly is fairly laid back about many things. In most things, I usually try to not let things stress me out. I’ve heard a rumour that many people feel stress and panic and fear and anger and misery and all sorts of things at this time […]