You don’t want to

You don’t want to be around me at the moment.

I had a tuna pita for lunch, and…well…tuna makes me gassy. WHOOf.

Anyhow, I just wanted to ask you a question:

Why the hell is “cowboy handshake” the number two search that gets people to the centre of the universe? Has Yours Truly *ever* talked about “the cowboy handshake”? What the eff *is* a cowboy handshake, exactly? Most of the cowboys I know never wanted to touch anybody. And if they did, it was for as little time as possible. They nodded and sometimes touched their hats if they *really* liked you.

But yeah, the only time those cowboys shook hands is if they were at someone’s funeral. And then it was this grand, slappy, “I can choke a heifer with my pinky” thing.

You’ll find nothing about cowboy handshakes here, weirdos.

Okay, well, NOW you will.

cenobyte is a writer, editor, blogger, and super genius from Saskatchewan, Canada.

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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