What Would You Do If You Had More Money Than Sense

So there’s this interesting blog post from my friend Smarty Pants about what he would do if he had more money than sense.

Which got me to thinking,what would I do if I had more money than sense?

Well. After buying myself all the accoutrements (a current pool, a truck, an alpaca) and paying off the debts and the debts of my friends and family (this is quickly becoming one of those “so far, you’re displaying an awful lot of sense, cenobyte” things, which just goes to show how much money I’m talking about here), I would deck out my house in all the latest ‘I’m’a live off the grid’ stuff. I might buy a banjo and a checkered shirt and some coveralls and sit on my porch with a still beside me and play country tunes, but only in the key of D sharp.

I’d buy my friend Coyote a house, but instead of a basement, there would be a series of tunnels, all painted white, with doors every four feet that enter in to rooms that are exactly 6′ x 9′.

And for my friend Jenn, I’d hire a British nanny. But it would be a boy nanny, and the terms of his employment would be: “make sure those girls learn hockey”.

I’d also buy a quarter section of land to be used only for explosions. And I would name that quarter section of land “Upper Twillingsworth”. Lower Twillingsworth would be the name of my current pool.

Also, I’d hire a personal trainer to lose weight for me while I went for liposuction.

What would you do if you had more money than sense?

cenobyte is a writer, editor, blogger, and super genius from Saskatchewan, Canada.


  1. That’s just ridiculous. If I already had more money than sense, then I’ve *seriously* misplaced my alpaca.

  2. There is, of course, just the *outside* possibility that you already, in fact, have more money than sense. :->

  3. If I had all the money I could ever want, I’d get enough of humanity into outer space that no one could imagine having every human alive living on Earth.

    – Jim

  4. BPM IV – that sounds an awful lot like one of those conversations I told you we’d had four or five of.

    Saskboy – YEAH!!!

  5. “Know what I’d do if I had a million dollars, man? Two chicks at the same time.”

    “You don’t need a million dollars for that, BPM IV.”

    “To find two chicks who’d double up on a guy like me, I do.”

  6. Gold is actually a nice metal to wear though, it is very inert, unlike nickel. Nickel underpants would be ouchy. Besides, it’s more money than sense.

    Two more words:
    flying convertible

  7. I would get a house built for myself, and put secret tunnels all over it.

    I would open a doughnut store, and call it “Dough Toroids”.

    I would buy out ThinkGeek’s inventory.

    These are just a few of my favourite things…

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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