Tag: Christmas

  • Christmas Wish

    Dear Santa: While you’re up on the roof and whatnot (incidentally, you want to make sure you hit the southeast chimney; the other two are just for show), would you be so kind as to get rid of the wicked ice dams we have up there? Maybe have the reindeer whizz on them or something?…

  • That’s Badass

    “So this one time, I was in a hurry, and I sliced the tip off of the end of my finger with a wood chisel. So I drive down to Dr. H’s clinic there, downtown, and I’m sitting in the waiting room and there’s this woman beside me and I hear Dr. H’s voice, and…

  • Sometimes the best ExMass story is a good Hallowe’en story

    “So I picked up this midget hitch-hiking,” he started. You know it’s a good story when it starts like that. Particularly when it’s my Da telling it. “Used to want to be a midget wrestler, he did. The guy thought wrestling was like that shite you see on teevee. I guess he got a big…

  • Why I Love My Inlaws

    We were looking at photos as we burned them to disc for the in-laws. This is something we do once or twice a year, because we are nerds. And by ‘we’, I mean “me”. This photo, taken, as you can see, on ExMass morning, shows His Nibs, at approximately fifteen years of age, being …erm……

  • The Christmas Story, in Effbook status updates, finale (days 8 – 12)

    “King Harod,” says the first, “is not interested in a Messiah.” “He is afraid he’ll be dethroned by the King of the Jews,” says the second. “Murder,” says the third, slowly shaking his head. The first Magus rises to his feet. “Every firstborn son in Jerusalem,” he begins nervously, “is to be killed.” The second…

  • The Christmas Story, in Effbook status updates, continued (days 3-7)

    It came to pass that a Sodom of Shepherds were elbowing each other in a tiny barn. Joseph was passing out cigars; Mary was glaring.“Dude! What’re you going to name him?”“We were thinking maybe Derek,” Joseph says, puffing away. “We are NOT naming Him Derek”, Mary spits. “Derek is a great name!” Joseph replies. “Yeah,…