No Sir, I don’t like it.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but Yankee television stations often feature adverts from lawyers, hospitals, and pharmaceutical companies. The adverts for lawyers are one step above used car dealers and one step below the “dollars for Gold” commercials. They make me very happy that professionals are not permitted to advertise on television in Canada. I don’t really understand why the US is such a, as they say, ‘litigious society’, but I have a strong suspicion it comes from the revolutionary history of the States. Actually, a lot of things that happen in the States can be traced, if you ask me, to a bunch of founding fathers whining about Britain.

Not that Britain isn’t a good thing to be upset about. I’m very glad that Canada is no longer beholden to that country. Not *really*.

Anyway, back to lawyers offering their services to know your rights so that you don’t have to. It’s just…cheesy. It’s unprofessional. It’s…iewy.

But what really gets my goat is the pharmaceutical adverts. They need to hire me. Because I’d be all, “if you’re depressed you should try these drugs. Either they will make you happier or they will make you commit suicide. Either way, you’ll be cured of your depression.”

Or, “If you have a hard-on for more than four hours, what the hell were you doing for the first three hours and fifty-eight minutes? And are you available Tuesday?”

Or, “People, like croutons, get brittle when they are aged. Take this drug. It won’t make you soft like fresh buns, but it might stop your spine from snapping like a swizzle stick when you bend over to tie your shoes. Oh. And it’ll probably feel like you’ve been eating barbed wire.”

Drug companies have enough money. Good on them for spending some of it on television, and I’m kind of waiting to see what kind of audience the ‘all-pharmaceutical shopping channel’ draws in. But really. They don’t need to advertise. They already buy off doctors and provide free samples all over the place.






2 responses to “No Sir, I don’t like it.”

  1. tv guy Avatar

    Think of how retarded the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

    Sent from my iPhone 4G

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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