Everything Old is New Again

Nobody at the RENAISSANCE FAIRE told me I’m too fat to ride a horse.

In fact, on the PIRATE SHIP RIDE, my VAST AMOUNT OF GIRL POWER (and upper body strength) made our pirate ship go WAY HIGHER than the guy next to us’s pirate ship. I kept looking over at the dad in the next ship over, and saying: “DUDE! YOU’RE GETTING BEATEN BY A **GIRL**!!!”, and his son, who was Lord High Dink of Dinkus Mountain while in lineup, was saying, “DAD! GO FASTER!!!”.

AND I had TWO kids in *my* pirate ship.


Take my girl power and shove your trail rides in your arse-bung, you bow-legged cowboy wannabe;
I bet you have to pay people to say nice things to you.


cenobyte is a writer, editor, blogger, and super genius from Saskatchewan, Canada.

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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