Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful

There’s this guy.
I see his leering face everywhere. He’s at the post office; he’s at the pharmacy. He’s in the city when I drive there. Sometimes, I even see him at the mall. It’s really annoying.

I mean, the guy doesn’t scare me or anything. It’s just…it’s weird. Then it started getting weirder. He started sending me stuff in the mail. First, it was just a couple of letters, and I can understand that. If you’re too frightened to approach someone IRL (In Real Life, as we gamers say), sometimes it’s just easier to write them a letter.

But now I’m getting stuff in the mail from him at least once a week. I don’t know what he says; I don’t even open the stuff. And I mean, that kind of stuff I can deal with. Doesn’t take much just to toss a bunch of crap in the recycling, right?

I’ll tell you, though. He’s gone too far. He started calling me. At home. He’d call at all hours of the day…early in the morning, in the afternoons, even late in the evenings. Sometimes…usually…he calls when my husband isn’t home. Sometimes when he calls, it’s just a recording of his voice. That’s the creepiest thing, I think. Just this recording…you know, and at first, you feel guilty about interrupting him, but then you figure out that he’s not waiting for you to respond, and then you figure out that he’s not really talking to you. He’s just talking. He’s talking and he just assumes you’re listening to him.

And he’s even got his friends to call me and send me emails. Like, I don’t even KNOW his friends? But whatever. They’re calling me and sending me email anyway.

This is the worst thing, though: the last few times he’s called, he’s threatened to take something away from me. Or rather, he’s not stupid enough to actually threaten to take something away, but I can tell that’s what he means. He talks about how things are changing and how if I don’t listen to him, Bad Things will happen. People could get hurt. Where it counts, if you know what I mean.

So, I mean, according to the Criminal Code of Canada, I guess you could say he’s stalking me. But it’s *okay*, because he’s *allowed* to do these things. He’s not really threatening me…not *really*. He doesn’t come to my house or my work or anything. I even know his name. I know what he’s up to, and it isn’t going to work.

His name is Tom Lukiwski**.

I’m not making fun of the seriousness of real stalking; I just thought it was kind of funny when His Nibs came home from the post office today and mentioned that my stalker had sent me more mail.

** Tom Lukiwski is the Member of Parliament for the riding I’m living in. He’s not stalking me. He sends me crap junk mail that talks about how if I don’t vote for the Conservative party in the next hellection, LIFE on EARTH AS WE KNOW IT WILL END!!!

Like I said, I don’t mean to make fun of the serious business that stalking is. I’ve had a stalker, and it was incredibly unpleasant.



9 responses to “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful”

  1. Kate Avatar

    That’s not funny. It is serious. He should be reported to the police.

    1. cenobyte Avatar

      I *could* report him to the police, but a whole bunch of people made the bad decision to duly elect him to represent them in Parliament. He sends me unwanted mail, he phones me, and I see his face on everything around here. It makes me mad every time I see him, because he’s a homophobic jerk (and that’s putting it really mildly).

      1. Avatar

        no seriously at least consult the rcmp about this. you don’t have to ‘turn him in’ but this is beyond the pale

        1. Avatar

          ugg read last bit of post u suck :P

          1. cenobyte Avatar

            Hee hee hee.

            But seriously; if it were real, I would never have let it get to this point.

  2. melistress Avatar

    I think Anti-Stalking laws should apply to politicians as well. I have a stalker too…his name is Brad Trost – an elected Conservative Party member. The worst part? I’m not even IN HIS RIDING!!!!

    I think that maybe we should start doing the same back to those politicians…create our own propaganda, make sure that we do phone calls to their office and tell whoever is on the other end of the phone that if they don’t vote “x-party here” in the next hellection that women will be forced into compounds where they will continue out the rest of their lives as barefoot handmaidens. (because you KNOW that it is going to be a woman answering the phone in his office).

    1. cenobyte Avatar

      Trost lets women work these days? How progressive of him!

  3. Kate Avatar

    Thanks for straightening me out there.

    1. cenobyte Avatar

      The porblem, as I see it, with metaphors is that sometimes they’re not very well constructed. As is the case with this one.

      Thanks for your patience!

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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