centre of the universe

Category: Stories

  • Regina’s (still) Gaping Maw

    Something nobody tells you when you have children is that the second you have kids, everyone else on the face of the planet instantly becomes a parenting expert. You’re in luck though because there are only five hard and fast “rules” to successfully ensuring your replicant DNA becomes a fully actualised, contributing member of society:…

  • Remembery

    Remembery

    Do you remember the time you took me with you to your sister’s wedding? It was in small town somewhere and I was jonesing for a cig but no place was open and not even the bar was holding. I think I opted to spend the service itself in the tub in our weird motel…

  • The Christmas Story

    The Christmas Story

    As told by Teyah T. Dog (aka “Bumblebutt”) Once there was a woman in a kitchen and the kitchen was far from the dogs’ resting place on the chesterfield. The dogs heard the sound of crinkling and knew that the King would tell them they couldn’t have treats, so they made the long journey to…

  • October 6, 1999

    It was a Wednesday. My back had been killing me ever since the games convention on the previous weekend. Wizard’s Challenge (North); we’d just pulled off the con – I’d been part of the planning team – and all reports were good. I spent much of the night stretching and cursing under my breath for…

  • The Inadvertent Feminist

    I have the most bizarre memory. I mean, I can remember things that happened when I was 2. I remember locker combinations from high school. I remember school seating plans from elementary school. Yet I can’t remember my kids’ names on a regular basis, or whether I’ve seen a particular movie. This is nothing new.…

  • The Drama …Club

    Did I ever tell you about my short-lived career as an actual “ad-man”? *wavy remembery lines* Way back in the once-upon-a-time, there was a drama club. And that drama club was trying to recruit new members. I went to a high school where there was a pretty clear divide between the band-drama kids and the…