Catch-44

Let me tell you a harrowing story. It’s not a story for the faint of heart. You may want to sit next to a loved one, turn on all the lights, wrap up in a fuzzy blanket.

When our eldest turned 18 and was therefore required to file taxes, we signed him up with a Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) account. It was relatively straightforward, although we had some hiccoughs trying to get a stupid code (Personal Access Code, PAC). Eventually we got through it, filed taxes, and he received NINE DOLLARS AND SEVENTY EIGHT CENTS as a rebate. Although he’d been working since he was a preteen (he worked as a ref, and on the farm; from 16 on he made good wages in the winter at the restaurant and in the spring/summer/fall on the farm), he’d not filed income tax because you don’t need to until you’re 18.

In the ensuing five years, however, every single damned year it’s a hassle and a half to get his taxes filed because every time he tries to log in to the government CRA website, his login doesn’t work so he has to request a new code and he never gets the new code. He used a tax program for three of the last five years, but then it became such a pain in the ass to try to log in to the CRA website, he just didn’t bother for a year. He now sends all his tax stuff to a filing agency and is done with it.

Cue Youngest turning 18. A few weeks after his 18th birthday, we tried setting Kid the Younger up with his own CRA account but we encountered some difficulty and filed everything under the “we can deal with this later” banner. Tax time came and went, and since Kid the Younger is a student and wasn’t working during the last year, there really wasn’t a lot for him to claim since he turned 18. We weren’t too worried. We tried again to get him a CRA account in the spring, and kept having problems trying to get a Personal Access Code. In fact, it was such a pain in the ass we all just forgot about it.

Today we asked Kid the Younger to get it sorted.

In the words of Four Non Blondes, he tried, oh my god how he tried. He followed the instructions on the CRA website to set up an account. He really wanted to use the bank as a sign in but his bank wasn’t listed, so he went to the ‘set up a sign in’ section. He filled everything out and got sent to a page that said “we can’t process this right now; please call to get a number”. So he tried to call to get a number.

“We are experiencing a higher than normal call volume and all of our agents are busy. Additionally, the queue has been filled so we cannot accept call back numbers. Please visit the website to complete your request.”

So he went back to the website, and tried again. Interestingly, he got different results this time (NOT UNCOMMON) and called the number on THAT page. This took him to an automated voice menu that asked him to press 1 to learn more about his pension or to press 2 to learn more about Old Age Security. He was looking for none of that information, so he hung up. He let me know he’d tried but was having trouble.

I, who knows tech, who used to build websites, who prepares taxes for themself and their spouse, who files tax information for two successful businesses, and who stewards their father’s tax information; I, who have had many, many, ma-hany experiences with the CRA website, decided to step in. I went through the same process Kid the Younger had done, with the same results (right down to getting a different page after having gone through the process once). I called the numbers. Same result. But then I stayed on the line for the pension and OAS number. I pressed a button not listed on the menu, and was put to a secondary menu asking more about pensions and OAS, and at the very end, “or, if you’re calling for a PAC, press 9”. I pressed 9.

I talked to a lovely lady. I told her what we were trying to do and apologised for likely calling the wrong place. Turns out I was not. Turns out the reason the CRA cannot handle phone calls or messages is because everyone who didn’t file taxes in the spring is now not receiving their benefits and are overloading the system trying to get everything sorted out. Turns out they (the CRA folks) know there are serious problems with the website. Turns out many people are having difficulty signing in and setting up accounts. Why, the sign-in partners system only works one out of five times! The kind lady suggested we call the website troubleshooting line. She also suggested instead of trying to sign up for a My Services account, we try signing up for a CRA account (we had tried both. Neither worked). Understandably, she could not help me sign Kid the Younger up because he wasn’t with me (I was at the office) and she couldn’t release his information because he’s no longer a minor. This is actually excellent security, and it pleased me to hear her say that.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Kid the Younger is now getting a *different* error message. NOW he’s getting the message that there’s some kind of a problem with his information. So he calls the pension number and talks to someone directly. That person confirms with him that the information he has provided them (his name, birth date, Social Insurance Number, and address) do not match the information **they have for him on file**.

1) How do they have information for him on file? We have never been able to set up any accounts. The last thing we did with the government was to apply for passports. The information he provided them is the same information provided for his passport.
2) WHY do they have information for him on file?
3) They could not confirm WHICH information was incorrect; they suggested he go to a CRA office in person.

This is excellent advice, except that there is no CRA office within two hours of where Kid the Younger lives. There’s a passport office, but they do not offer CRA services.

We then try at home to sign in using the sign-in partner (when he tried to do this on mobile, his bank wasn’t even listed as a potential sign-in partner. On the computer, four hundred banks were listed). We get further than we’ve got before except.

In order to get the PAC, we need to input Kid the Younger’s reported revenue from line whatever of last year’s tax return. Which we don’t have, because Kid the Younger didn’t file taxes last year. We entered “0”, which was, apparently, wrong.

To sum up:
If you would like to apply for an account to use to file your taxes, you can absolutely do so, provided you’ve filed your taxes within the last two years. If you haven’t filed your taxes, you must first file your taxes before you can get a tax account. If you need help with the application process, you can use the online chat feature, which will tell you you’re experiencing a problem it cannot solve, so it directs you to a phone number. Calling the phone number works much of the time, but nobody answers. If someone answers, it’s the wrong person and they recommend you try doing all of this online, which is much easier. It is easier, of course, provided you have already filed taxes and do not need help. Makes perfect sense.

The federal government does not want Gen Z folx to file taxes at all. This will make life a lot easier for Gen Z, but it’s going to suck for the rest of us when all of our social services, the military, and health care crumble because there’s nobody paying into it. Also fuck CPP, EI, and OAS, AMIRITE!?

Sure, the process we’ve gone through has been really fucking annoying. But that’s not actually the real issue here.

Here’s the real issue:
Two relatively intelligent, capable people were completely unable to successfully navigate the website, and the help mentioned on the website was not helpful. If either of us lived with cognitive impairment, visual impairment, or physical impairment, this website would be almost completely inaccessible. If we had cognitive impairment in fact we’d be totally fucked in the bum hole with no lube. The number of times phone numbers for TTY services or services for people with disability were mentioned was quite high, although phoning sent us to automated menus, not live humans. If we were living with cognitive impairment, navigating through that fucking system alone would be an absolute nightmare. That the federal government’s own website and processes are inaccessible for regular people, which makes it even MORE terrible for people who may already be experiencing difficulty with sites and phone systems. This is really bad.

Ultimately, I suspect Kid the Younger would be looking at a refund anyway, so we’re not as worried that this is taking so long as we would be if we thought he owed money. It’s not like the government pays out the same interest it collects when it owes a refund versus is owed tax remittances. And it makes perfect sense that you must file your taxes before you can file your taxes.

Yes, we’ll probably end up sending in a paper return so we can at least have line whateverthefuck to request a PAC, which we’ll use to sign in to the CRA, which we’ll use to file taxes. The other thing I’m trying is signing up as a temporary authorised representative to see if I can see what information they have.

IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS DIFFICULT TO PAY TAXES.