Call me Ducky

The Nipper has the Best Ideas Ever Invented. He said, last night on the way to rehearsal, “you know what would be cool, would be if they made a Call of Duty ™ game that’s age-appropriate for kids and they called it Call of Ducky. And you’d play this duck having adventures all over in the meadows and fields and stuff and maybe even a lake. But instead of shooting bullets and guns, they’d spit water out of their mouths. Their eyes wouldn’t turn to Xs when they got hit, because the water doesn’t kill a duck, but their eyes would go all googly and roll around when they got hit and they’d be stunned and then they’d fly away or walk away or whatever.

Then for grenades, they’d poop out eggs, and -”

“Birds don’t poop out eggs, boyo,” I interrupted. “They lay them. Kind of in the same manner a woman births a baby.”

“Okay, so they’d lay eggs and the eggs would be like grenades and they could throw them and they’d break and then the other guy would get all eggy and that’d be really gross. And then THOSE other guys would fly away or wander off because they’d need a bath. Do ducks bath?

“And there could be other kinds of birds instead of airplanes and jets and things.”

The Captain said, “You could have eagles for airplanes.”

“And swans,” The Nipper went on, “for the navy.”

“And some of the birds could drop bombs. You know, like poop bombs. If they’re flyers.”

“They’d go on missions to find some ducklings and rescue them, or to find a new nest…you know what else would be cool would be if you started out as, like, an egg. With just feet sticking out the bottom. And you had to find your way back to the nest and had some kind of sonic attack for if you got in trouble. Then as you go through the game, your stats would improve and you’d eventually break out of the egg and level up.

“But then you’d be a yellow duckling and you’d be all fuzzy and you’d have your sonic peep attack and a scratch attack, because you wouldn’t know how to spit water yet. Then when you levelled up you’d grow proper feathers.

“And you could level up again and learn how to dive in a pond, and you could level up again and learn how to fly.”

So I’m thinking this would be a wicked game for kids to play. So. My gamer peeps, please make this happen. The Nipper would be forever grateful. I’ll help with the writing and editing. I’m very good at “quack, quack, peep peep peep”.

But seriously. This game would rock. And I bet all of the gamer parents out there would buy it for their kids.

I…took the liberty of designing a game case for you:

Call of Ducky
Call of Ducky



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6 responses to “Call me Ducky”

  1. melistress Avatar

    THAT is awesome! So freaking creative! Just like their mommy.

  2. arnisador Avatar

    its too bad organizations like PETA would cause issues for you…


    1. cenobyte Avatar

      Pffft. No they wouldn’t. No ducks would be harmed in the making of Call of Ducky. It’s just water and egg bombs, after all.

  3. Kaila Avatar

    Forget it being a kid game I want to play Call of Duck. How about all ages?

  4. arnisador Avatar

    even ducks can suffer from PTSD. You are so insensitive to the needs of the anatidae.
    Hater. HATER!

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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