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twats
- True or False, y'all: Chez Relaxo is magic. 56 minutes ago
- Screw Grapes. Albert the Hologram is the best dressed man on TeeVee. 57 minutes ago
- Check that. I'm going to watch Quantum Leap all. goddamned. day. 1 hour ago
- I plan to watch movies all. goddamned. day. 1 hour ago
- JESUS, MARTIN; I HAVEN'T DONE IT YET! 2 hours ago
Pope Batman
- OMG you guys. Someone didn't come to confession. That's, like, a CRIME. 1 week ago
- @mmrilla That's a pretty dumb wish. Because I, like, fight crime ALL of the times. 1 month ago
- @lilypawz Dude. You got HAM at Easter? FFS. We had fish stew and these crappy buns. I'm'a bring Aquaman to your house next year. 1 month ago
- I mean, it's not like there's no precedent for having a bunch of criminals hanging around at Easter. 1 month ago
- So, for a change this Easter, I suggest we hunt for criminals instead of eggs. 1 month ago
Filthy Edna
- One thing you never do on a hot day is, you never give your arse-crack a good scratching just before serving pie. 4 weeks ago
- Lost my knickers in the rain barrel again. That neighbour boy's been flapping his blinds at me, too. 4 weeks ago
- I was scraping my bunions the other day, and it reminded me of the weekend in Cairo with Boutros Boutros-Ghali. The man had terrible feet. 2 months ago
- I've found that the smaller the pecker, the bigger the pecker-head. 2 months ago
- Suffice it to say, I couldn't look at anything longer than it was wide for a year without hooting the theme from "Hinterland Who's Who". 2 months ago
Tag Archives: Kids
This seems backward
The public health region has begun, in the recent past, to provide vaccines for Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) (or would that be ‘provide vaccines against HPV’?). HPV is a communicable virus (duh, cenobyte. “Virus” is in the name.) that can … Continue reading
Posted in Children, Just Wrong
Tagged equal rights, everyone is the same, Kids, poop in my cornflakes
5 Comments
Happy-making
The Captain phoned me at work today. I saw the number come up on my phone, and so I answered with: “WHO IS THIS?” He said, after a brief pause: “…there’s no need for names, Ma’am.” That is all.
Things I Do Not Need
So. I am having two Minor Conflicts. One: One set of Grandparents seems to think The Captain needs a cell phone. I do not want The Captain to have a cell phone, for a number of reasons, and shockingly, … Continue reading
SCIENCE!!!
“Wouldn’t it be cool,” The Captain said just now, before going to school for his last day of fifth grade,”if we could cross-breed insects and arthropods and then control them? Then we could cross a tick with a mosquito with … Continue reading
Miss Interpretation
I think I did something Wrong. The Captain has had buddies over this week; he has friends whose company I quite enjoy….and he has friends whose company I find trying. I would be surprised if it were otherwise, to be … Continue reading
Posted in Everything Else Drawer, Family, When There's Weather
Tagged crossing the line, Kids
10 Comments
One more piece of sage advice from someone who’s been there
If there was only one piece of advice I could give to parents of newborns, it is this: Your baby does NOT hate to be swaddled. Your baby *may* hate being swaddled in the wrong way, or too loosely, but … Continue reading
It’s Not Always This Cool
It’s pretty easy to pat yourself on the back and be a ‘good parent’ when your kids are sweet and funny or are hurt and needing you. But when they’re screaming at you about how much of a bastard you … Continue reading



