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twats
- In half an hour I am going to quaff some NyQuil (tm). 'ware the #drunlsweets then, my children. Oh, 'ware the #drunlsweets then. 15 hours ago
- "seen" is fine as long as it's accompanied by its helper "have". 17 hours ago
- The next person to say "I seen that" in my presence is going to get a mouthful of silver. 19 hours ago
- "The boys all went out and none of them could find a hole" #icefishingnotsex 19 hours ago
- Dude's wife is a complete douchenozzle. 21 hours ago
Pope Batman
- What's a nice way of saying "Get the fuck over it"? #Aquamanispouting 1 day ago
- Maybe it's mean to tell Aquaman that we're serving up his cousin Doug. But it's fucking funny. #ihatefridays 1 day ago
- Oh wait. It's about the same. 1 day ago
- I would rather clean J'onn J'onzz's dirty underpants with my tongue than eat this fish. 1 day ago
- You know what does NOT go well with fish? Fucking everything. #Fridayisabaddaytobethefuckingpope 1 day ago
Filthy Edna
- Normally, I wouldn't say anything bad about LBJ, but that man couldn't stay focussed long enough to strike a match, let alone pop a cherry. 1 day ago
- and speaking of the postman trying to break in to the biffy again, have I got a humdinger of a story about Kaiser Wilhelm. 1 day ago
- , but I'll tell you, if you're going to be bent over a sawhorse and reamed by anyone, you want it to be Jimmy Carter. 2 days ago
- More than once, really, but they only got one good take. Put poor Ron Jeremy to shame, that mule did. 3 days ago
- I should probably get a shot, though, now that I think about it. Pedro bit my nipple once. 3 days ago
Tag Archives: Kids
This seems backward
The public health region has begun, in the recent past, to provide vaccines for Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) (or would that be ‘provide vaccines against HPV’?). HPV is a communicable virus (duh, cenobyte. “Virus” is in the name.) that can … Continue reading
Posted in Children, Just Wrong
Tagged equal rights, everyone is the same, Kids, poop in my cornflakes
5 Comments
Happy-making
The Captain phoned me at work today. I saw the number come up on my phone, and so I answered with: “WHO IS THIS?” He said, after a brief pause: “…there’s no need for names, Ma’am.” That is all.
Things I Do Not Need
So. I am having two Minor Conflicts. One: One set of Grandparents seems to think The Captain needs a cell phone. I do not want The Captain to have a cell phone, for a number of reasons, and shockingly, … Continue reading
SCIENCE!!!
“Wouldn’t it be cool,” The Captain said just now, before going to school for his last day of fifth grade,”if we could cross-breed insects and arthropods and then control them? Then we could cross a tick with a mosquito with … Continue reading
Tent-caterpillar
He’s just a baby now, you said, holding the fuzzy blue-and-black caterpillar on your hand. When he touches me it’s like little tickles, his baby feet and fingers are soft. But he will grow and change, you know. Soon he’ll … Continue reading
Posted in Children, Family, Just for You, The Captain, The Nipper, True Stories
Tagged Kids, Remembery
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Miss Interpretation
I think I did something Wrong. The Captain has had buddies over this week; he has friends whose company I quite enjoy….and he has friends whose company I find trying. I would be surprised if it were otherwise, to be … Continue reading
Posted in Everything Else Drawer, Family, When There's Weather
Tagged crossing the line, Kids
10 Comments
Some things do surprise me
Do you realise it’s been fewer than twenty years since Apartheid was officially abolished in South Africa? For a social studies project in elementary school in the 80s, I did a report about Apartheid. No one in my class had … Continue reading
Posted in education, Porblems, Something or other but True, The Captain, True Stories
Tagged equal rights, everyone is the same, Kids
2 Comments
300
What do you do when it’s +2 in the middle of February? You stage the EPIC BATTLE OF THERMOPYLAE in your back yard. Here are the Spartans. They are few in number, but they are brave. This is the leader … Continue reading
Posted in Children, Stories, The Captain, The Nipper, When There's Weather
Tagged History, Kids, Photo Essay
4 Comments
One more piece of sage advice from someone who’s been there
If there was only one piece of advice I could give to parents of newborns, it is this: Your baby does NOT hate to be swaddled. Your baby *may* hate being swaddled in the wrong way, or too loosely, but … Continue reading
It’s Not Always This Cool
It’s pretty easy to pat yourself on the back and be a ‘good parent’ when your kids are sweet and funny or are hurt and needing you. But when they’re screaming at you about how much of a bastard you … Continue reading
