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recognition
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twats
- [cotu] Your smile: I pulled back the curtain, but I don’t know what I expected to see. Nothing, I suppose. But s... http://t.co/EN1PoFtm 6 hours ago
- Ghosts, ghosts, and more ghosts. All in visitation, all striking poses. Yes, like on the cover of a magazine. 16 hours ago
- You wouldn't believe what the goddamned full moon does to this chick. 16 hours ago
- The Nipper: "My pants aren't working". 23 hours ago
- Okay, news types. Madonna neither sang nor danced "all night". She lip-synced and bounced for about fifteen minutes. 1 day ago
Pope Batman
- But I stuffed these fancy robes full of straw and just shoved them in the closet with a tape recorder. I'll totally get back to you. 3 hours ago
- So, um, okay, here's the deal. There's, like, CRIMES happening, and I, you know, kind of fight that shit. So I'm'a be away for Batechism. 3 hours ago
- @JazzWhispers don't give it to Alfred. He'll turn it into goddamned fish. 22 hours ago
- @joel_sopp @jantafrench @davedeibert tell that to Green Lantern. He says Yellow objects are evil... 1 day ago
- What's a nice way of saying "Get the fuck over it"? #Aquamanispouting 3 days ago
Filthy Edna
- Normally, I wouldn't say anything bad about LBJ, but that man couldn't stay focussed long enough to strike a match, let alone pop a cherry. 3 days ago
- and speaking of the postman trying to break in to the biffy again, have I got a humdinger of a story about Kaiser Wilhelm. 4 days ago
- , but I'll tell you, if you're going to be bent over a sawhorse and reamed by anyone, you want it to be Jimmy Carter. 5 days ago
- More than once, really, but they only got one good take. Put poor Ron Jeremy to shame, that mule did. 5 days ago
- I should probably get a shot, though, now that I think about it. Pedro bit my nipple once. 5 days ago
Tag Archives: Advice
Gossip
I’ve just learned how to gossip. I mean, not *just* now; in the last few months. I was never much for gossip when I was pupating, because I didn’t really get the point. I guess I still don’t…not *really*…I mean, … Continue reading
Posted in Books, piss in your eye, Reviews
Tagged Advice, critique, everyone is the same, piss in your eye
4 Comments
Sage Words of Advice
“I really really wish that it wasn’t just expected that boys are supposed to ask girls out on a date. Because all of the guys I know are super shy and are terrified of asking girls out on a date. … Continue reading
Things I Do Not Need
So. I am having two Minor Conflicts. One: One set of Grandparents seems to think The Captain needs a cell phone. I do not want The Captain to have a cell phone, for a number of reasons, and shockingly, … Continue reading
Bullet Proof
Is bullet-proof glass safer than regular glass? Consider: Both you and the gunman are behind bullet-proof glass. The bullet-proof glass will not save you. Consider: You are the pope. You are being ferried around in the papamobile (which, for the … Continue reading
One more piece of sage advice from someone who’s been there
If there was only one piece of advice I could give to parents of newborns, it is this: Your baby does NOT hate to be swaddled. Your baby *may* hate being swaddled in the wrong way, or too loosely, but … Continue reading
One persun’s Uncomfortable Silence is another persun’s Golden Meditation
Did you ever go on a date with someone you were totally enamoured with and thought through the whole date, “what’s the ONE THING I can say to convince this person that I am Relationship Material”? I did. And inevitably, … Continue reading
I don’t know much
Yours Truly has, in the last few weeks/months, encountered several folks who have either taken advantage of established and emerging technology to produce their own books. I think this is a grand venture! As you know, Yours Truly works for … Continue reading
What they don’t tell you
When you get your license to reproduce, there is a manual that comes along in the post after your first positive pregnancy test/after you sign the first adoption papers, and that manual tells you everything you need to know about … Continue reading
Posted in Children, Family, Porblems, The Captain, The Nipper, When There's Weather
Tagged Advice, Kids
3 Comments
Yet Another Thing
Okay, so I think the real problem here is that Yours Truly has been watching daytime television. This is a Bad Plan. Because you know what? I think I’m beginning to understand something. And that something is that most of … Continue reading
Posted in Bad Mojo, Children, Just Wrong, piss in your eye, When There's Weather
Tagged Advice, breaks my heart, Just Wrong, Rants
10 Comments
NOW I get it
About ten years ago, I was offered a freelance contract writing an ‘advice column’ for a men’s magazine. I turned down the offer because a) they weren’t paying well; and b) I wasn’t sure they’d appreciate the kind of ‘advice’ … Continue reading
