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twats
- True or False, y'all: Chez Relaxo is magic. 34 minutes ago
- Screw Grapes. Albert the Hologram is the best dressed man on TeeVee. 35 minutes ago
- Check that. I'm going to watch Quantum Leap all. goddamned. day. 43 minutes ago
- I plan to watch movies all. goddamned. day. 49 minutes ago
- JESUS, MARTIN; I HAVEN'T DONE IT YET! 2 hours ago
Pope Batman
- OMG you guys. Someone didn't come to confession. That's, like, a CRIME. 1 week ago
- @mmrilla That's a pretty dumb wish. Because I, like, fight crime ALL of the times. 1 month ago
- @lilypawz Dude. You got HAM at Easter? FFS. We had fish stew and these crappy buns. I'm'a bring Aquaman to your house next year. 1 month ago
- I mean, it's not like there's no precedent for having a bunch of criminals hanging around at Easter. 1 month ago
- So, for a change this Easter, I suggest we hunt for criminals instead of eggs. 1 month ago
Filthy Edna
- One thing you never do on a hot day is, you never give your arse-crack a good scratching just before serving pie. 4 weeks ago
- Lost my knickers in the rain barrel again. That neighbour boy's been flapping his blinds at me, too. 4 weeks ago
- I was scraping my bunions the other day, and it reminded me of the weekend in Cairo with Boutros Boutros-Ghali. The man had terrible feet. 2 months ago
- I've found that the smaller the pecker, the bigger the pecker-head. 2 months ago
- Suffice it to say, I couldn't look at anything longer than it was wide for a year without hooting the theme from "Hinterland Who's Who". 2 months ago
Category Archives: dreams
Repairs
Last night I was at my grandmother’s tiny, hot house in the small prairie town. The boys were with me, and we were looking through some of the treasures she’s kept for half a century. I had a damp cloth … Continue reading
Posted in dreams, Everything Else Drawer
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Under the beneath
We had just moved to a new apartment. You suggested we have our friend Smarty Pants over, with his Very Clever family. We also had the Screeching Girl and her sister The Tank. Everything was going well, for a while. … Continue reading
Posted in dreams
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Family Ties
You and I were on a video conference when, of a sudden, you stopped talking to me. Your face peered out from my computer screen, but you said nothing. I tried to draw you into conversation but there was nothing … Continue reading
Feral
I hadn’t expected to get into a fight with Silent Winged Coyote. It just kind of happened that way. He was upset with me, though, because I kept beating him on all the games of chance. It was uncanny, really. … Continue reading
Contrition
I dreamed of you last night. In the first place, we were at my home in my northern town, in the back yard. I was barefoot, and the grass was itchy and warm beneath my soles. I took you across … Continue reading
The Mission
I like to learn things about the place I’m in when I’m travelling. I like to learn a little about its history, its culture. I like to mix business with pleasure when I have to travel for work (but where … Continue reading
Away to me
In this dream I was running. The grass was the colour of deeply polished jade, and the sun had warmed the sidewalk enough that my bare feet were warm. I could smell the trees in leaf, the clover in the … Continue reading
I’ll Dream of You Tonight
In this place of dreams dreamt, I danced on a verdant green lawn with a hound and a herder. They were Sam and Buster, and Sam was the colour of dirty snow sprinkled liberally with cinnamon, his long ears folded … Continue reading
As It Wasn’t
Once upon a time that wasn’t, SmartyPants lived in the east end of Saskatoon. Across from a pub I used to frequent, in a house that never was. He invited me to his house for dinner, and we’ve been talking … Continue reading
More Than This
The man I spent the night in bed beside is a teacher. We were in a hotel in a town a few hours from home, and it’s not like anyone would talk even if they knew. There was a tournament … Continue reading



