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twats
- Yes. It takes at least a day. 54 minutes ago
- "Does it take much time to learn the 'wayofthevampire'?" 54 minutes ago
- Twitter, ALWAYS take my advice. 57 minutes ago
Pope Batman
- OMG you guys. Someone didn't come to confession. That's, like, a CRIME. 6 days ago
- @mmrilla That's a pretty dumb wish. Because I, like, fight crime ALL of the times. 1 month ago
- @lilypawz Dude. You got HAM at Easter? FFS. We had fish stew and these crappy buns. I'm'a bring Aquaman to your house next year. 1 month ago
- I mean, it's not like there's no precedent for having a bunch of criminals hanging around at Easter. 1 month ago
- So, for a change this Easter, I suggest we hunt for criminals instead of eggs. 1 month ago
Filthy Edna
- One thing you never do on a hot day is, you never give your arse-crack a good scratching just before serving pie. 3 weeks ago
- Lost my knickers in the rain barrel again. That neighbour boy's been flapping his blinds at me, too. 3 weeks ago
- I was scraping my bunions the other day, and it reminded me of the weekend in Cairo with Boutros Boutros-Ghali. The man had terrible feet. 1 month ago
- I've found that the smaller the pecker, the bigger the pecker-head. 2 months ago
- Suffice it to say, I couldn't look at anything longer than it was wide for a year without hooting the theme from "Hinterland Who's Who". 2 months ago
Category Archives: Children
300
What do you do when it’s +2 in the middle of February? You stage the EPIC BATTLE OF THERMOPYLAE in your back yard. Here are the Spartans. They are few in number, but they are brave. This is the leader … Continue reading
Posted in Children, Stories, The Captain, The Nipper, When There's Weather
Tagged History, Kids, Photo Essay
4 Comments
One more piece of sage advice from someone who’s been there
If there was only one piece of advice I could give to parents of newborns, it is this: Your baby does NOT hate to be swaddled. Your baby *may* hate being swaddled in the wrong way, or too loosely, but … Continue reading
It’s Not Always This Cool
It’s pretty easy to pat yourself on the back and be a ‘good parent’ when your kids are sweet and funny or are hurt and needing you. But when they’re screaming at you about how much of a bastard you … Continue reading
What they don’t tell you
When you get your license to reproduce, there is a manual that comes along in the post after your first positive pregnancy test/after you sign the first adoption papers, and that manual tells you everything you need to know about … Continue reading
Posted in Children, Family, Porblems, The Captain, The Nipper, When There's Weather
Tagged Advice, Kids
3 Comments
Sensitivity Training
Every year, hundreds of thousands of dollars are spent in elementary, middle, and high schools, for specialists to try to teach children to be better humans. School is more than just learning your multiplication tables and parts of speech (and … Continue reading
Posted in Bad Mojo, Children, education, Just Wrong, piss in your eye, Rants, Sad, When There's Weather
Tagged Bad Mojo, breaks my heart, everyone is the same, piss in your eye, Rants
26 Comments
Yet Another Thing
Okay, so I think the real problem here is that Yours Truly has been watching daytime television. This is a Bad Plan. Because you know what? I think I’m beginning to understand something. And that something is that most of … Continue reading
Posted in Bad Mojo, Children, Just Wrong, piss in your eye, When There's Weather
Tagged Advice, breaks my heart, Just Wrong, Rants
10 Comments
Dear Dumkopfs:
So I get it. You just turned sixteen and you got a driver’s permit. Congratulations! And in Ontario, the provincial government just instituted a new law that states that anyone under age 22 caught driving with **any** alcohol in their … Continue reading
And they shall call him
LINEBACKER (Actually, I’ve no idea what position he’ll play.) Normally, I don’t put photos of my chicklets on the intarweebs. Because I’m paranoid and whatnot. But SRSLY U GAIZ. SRSLY. Is this not the cutest football player you have ever … Continue reading
Posted in CFL, Children, The Captain
9 Comments
Once it’s gone, it’s gone
The neighbour’s kid had a party last night. I feel I ought to point out that the neighbour’s kid is fourteen. Maybe fifteen. He has a sister the same age as The Captain. I think she had a sleepover last … Continue reading
The strangest thing about my grandmother's house
Is that it looks absolutely nothing like it looked when The Captain and I were there earlier. For instance, there is no third floor with dormer windows. There is no Spare Oom off my grandmother’s bedroom. The house is, though, … Continue reading
Posted in dreams, The Captain
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