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recognition
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twats
- [cotu] Your smile: I pulled back the curtain, but I don’t know what I expected to see. Nothing, I suppose. But s... http://t.co/EN1PoFtm 6 hours ago
- Ghosts, ghosts, and more ghosts. All in visitation, all striking poses. Yes, like on the cover of a magazine. 16 hours ago
- You wouldn't believe what the goddamned full moon does to this chick. 16 hours ago
- The Nipper: "My pants aren't working". 23 hours ago
- Okay, news types. Madonna neither sang nor danced "all night". She lip-synced and bounced for about fifteen minutes. 1 day ago
Pope Batman
- But I stuffed these fancy robes full of straw and just shoved them in the closet with a tape recorder. I'll totally get back to you. 3 hours ago
- So, um, okay, here's the deal. There's, like, CRIMES happening, and I, you know, kind of fight that shit. So I'm'a be away for Batechism. 3 hours ago
- @JazzWhispers don't give it to Alfred. He'll turn it into goddamned fish. 22 hours ago
- @joel_sopp @jantafrench @davedeibert tell that to Green Lantern. He says Yellow objects are evil... 1 day ago
- What's a nice way of saying "Get the fuck over it"? #Aquamanispouting 3 days ago
Filthy Edna
- Normally, I wouldn't say anything bad about LBJ, but that man couldn't stay focussed long enough to strike a match, let alone pop a cherry. 3 days ago
- and speaking of the postman trying to break in to the biffy again, have I got a humdinger of a story about Kaiser Wilhelm. 4 days ago
- , but I'll tell you, if you're going to be bent over a sawhorse and reamed by anyone, you want it to be Jimmy Carter. 5 days ago
- More than once, really, but they only got one good take. Put poor Ron Jeremy to shame, that mule did. 5 days ago
- I should probably get a shot, though, now that I think about it. Pedro bit my nipple once. 5 days ago
Category Archives: Children
Sage Words of Advice
“I really really wish that it wasn’t just expected that boys are supposed to ask girls out on a date. Because all of the guys I know are super shy and are terrified of asking girls out on a date. … Continue reading
This seems backward
The public health region has begun, in the recent past, to provide vaccines for Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) (or would that be ‘provide vaccines against HPV’?). HPV is a communicable virus (duh, cenobyte. “Virus” is in the name.) that can … Continue reading
Posted in Children, Just Wrong
Tagged equal rights, everyone is the same, Kids, poop in my cornflakes
5 Comments
Happy-making
The Captain phoned me at work today. I saw the number come up on my phone, and so I answered with: “WHO IS THIS?” He said, after a brief pause: “…there’s no need for names, Ma’am.” That is all.
Things I Do Not Need
So. I am having two Minor Conflicts. One: One set of Grandparents seems to think The Captain needs a cell phone. I do not want The Captain to have a cell phone, for a number of reasons, and shockingly, … Continue reading
Angles and Corners
These boys are all skinny legs and large, awkward feet. You see the way they stand and listen to their coaches, and you see glimpses of the men they will become – in the angle of a hip; in the … Continue reading
SCIENCE!!!
“Wouldn’t it be cool,” The Captain said just now, before going to school for his last day of fifth grade,”if we could cross-breed insects and arthropods and then control them? Then we could cross a tick with a mosquito with … Continue reading
Tent-caterpillar
He’s just a baby now, you said, holding the fuzzy blue-and-black caterpillar on your hand. When he touches me it’s like little tickles, his baby feet and fingers are soft. But he will grow and change, you know. Soon he’ll … Continue reading
Posted in Children, Family, Just for You, The Captain, The Nipper, True Stories
Tagged Kids, Remembery
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Some things do surprise me
Do you realise it’s been fewer than twenty years since Apartheid was officially abolished in South Africa? For a social studies project in elementary school in the 80s, I did a report about Apartheid. No one in my class had … Continue reading
Posted in education, Porblems, Something or other but True, The Captain, True Stories
Tagged equal rights, everyone is the same, Kids
2 Comments
300
What do you do when it’s +2 in the middle of February? You stage the EPIC BATTLE OF THERMOPYLAE in your back yard. Here are the Spartans. They are few in number, but they are brave. This is the leader … Continue reading
Posted in Children, Stories, The Captain, The Nipper, When There's Weather
Tagged History, Kids, Photo Essay
4 Comments
One more piece of sage advice from someone who’s been there
If there was only one piece of advice I could give to parents of newborns, it is this: Your baby does NOT hate to be swaddled. Your baby *may* hate being swaddled in the wrong way, or too loosely, but … Continue reading
