Author Archives: cenobyte

cenobyte is a writer and freelance editor from Saskatchewan, Canada.

Insane in the Membrane

So, one of the things I love is swimming in lakes. I also love swimming in oceans. I have never tried swimming in a sea, but I’m sure I’d love that too. We’d spent the day kind of at the beach. The boys were all fishing, and the water was so clear that I could [...]

Someone’s Sleeping, Lord

We tend to surround ourselves with like-minded thinkers; people who understand, if not agree with our politics, our, as Ignatius J. Reilly would say, “world view”, and our humour. By and large. We have small differences here and there, but for the most part the lion, it is said, does not lay with the lamb. [...]

You Make the Whole World Go Around

I have to say this. Because it’s weighing on my mind a lot (pun intended). Being fat is not funny. I don’t want to be called “Ruebenesque” (even if it’s spelled properly, which it very rarely is) or “curvy”. It’s horrible. I hate it. I hate everything about being fat. One of many, many, many [...]

They’re coming to take me away

Okay. Let’s see if I can do this. Two days before the American gun control bill was introduced for voting, an attack was made by [then] unknown individuals on civilians at the Boston Marathon, arguably one of the biggest, most well-known marathons in North America. For days, in fear, people re-enact a version of the [...]

Call me Ducky

The Nipper has the Best Ideas Ever Invented. He said, last night on the way to rehearsal, “you know what would be cool, would be if they made a Call of Duty ™ game that’s age-appropriate for kids and they called it Call of Ducky. And you’d play this duck having adventures all over in [...]

Unbelievable

Something ridiculous happened today. Before I get to that, though, I’m’a set some ground rules, because this is the kind of discussion that gets out of hand really, really fast. 1) I’m not interested in any anti-religion comments. What follows did not happen because people believe in God. This isn’t a discussion about belief versus [...]

Lord Love a Duck

Did I ever tell you about the time my Gram and her neighbour took me for a drive in their small town in the 80s, and we saw a Young Man wearing Very Tight Trousers, and my Gram, who was usually so proper and reserved, said “Gol, if he passed wind, he’d split those trousers [...]

To Be or Not To Be

What Shakespeare was talking about in the famous soliloquy from “Hamlet” was not all about whether it’s better to end your life or to continue to endure pain and heartbreak. It was not an extended existential whinge. It was, rather, a contemplation on whether or not to use the plural or the singular third person [...]

Pimpin’

Okay. So this is happening. It’s a play, and I’m in it: But ‘cept tickets for Friday the 19th weren’t selling fast enough, so that show’s been cancelled. But I’d like to invite you to the play. I’d forgotten how much I missed this stuff. If you need more incentive than “cenobyte is in a [...]

Ask me

I have a question for you. Here is the preamble: people are, in general, awesome. Most people in the world are lovley, caring, giving humans. They want to share; they want to help. We’re conditioned to look for the bad bits, but if you switch that over to ‘look for the good bits’, your whole [...]