This is a Bad Night

Tonight, I found a picture
of a rocket ship from grade two.
I worked really hard on this
was written at the bottom.

This was the rocket ship
we were going to paint on his bedroom wall, but
my hands were full with the new baby
and then there was always more work
things got …faster, somehow.
I could make excuses all night
and all day and for the rest of time,
but that will never be enough.
How long would it have taken to just paint
a goddamned rocket ship on his wall?
I worked really hard on this

Now I must weigh that question against this one:
How long will it take before he doesn’t think
rocket ships are cool anymore,
before he doesn’t want me painting anything
on his wall, before he doesn’t want me
helping at all?

I need to work really hard on this
and I’m afraid it will be
too late.

  5 comments for “This is a Bad Night

  1. penlan
    2 February 2010 at 1:29 pm

    Being busy with “the present” can really interfere with the future & what could have been. Good, thoughtful post.

  2. penlan
    2 February 2010 at 1:29 pm

    So, did you paint the rocket ship on his wall finally?

  3. cenobyte
    2 February 2010 at 1:29 pm

    We talked about whether he still wants a rocket ship. We’ll see. I’m getting paints for the weekend just in case.

  4. penlan
    2 February 2010 at 1:29 pm

    Well I hope he does! :)

  5. Anonymous
    2 February 2010 at 1:30 pm

    Well Jesus Christ C, make me all weepy on a random Tuesday morning. Yee Fecker.

    -Jay

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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