…which brings up another one. Well, not really a question. But it’s something that gets one’s grey matter working, you know?
And here it is. It sort of hinges on the arguments of feminism and equality and all those things I go on at length about that I’m sure you’re tired of hearing. It also hinges on being the ‘ist’ mother of boys. First, if my boys want to wear tutus, lip gloss, and nail polish, I think they have that right. And I think we have the right to let them express themselves free of disapproving looks and comments like “what are you trying to do to that boy? Why would you let him wear lipstick?” A better comment might have been “why are you letting him wear lipstick that clearly has not been in style since 1992, and even then was on the shady side of ‘style’, which indicates you’re letting him wear expired lipstick, which is probably Not Good For Him”.
Second, what makes it okay to say horrible and disparaging things about men, when you’d probably take men to court over saying similar things about women? Similarly, what makes it okay to say disparaging things about *any* group of people, when you’d bleat like a goat over someone saying those things about you? Now, I say this with one foot firmly planted in the “I do this crap ALL THE TIME” camp. Usually not in too public of a forum, and usually only around people who can tell I’m being facetious.
But here’s the thing. I think I’ve talked about this before – you get a group of women together, and the first thing that happens is we start bitching out our husbands, which is fine; that’s part of a social encounter, but let’s just say we’re at work. Where there is a “zero tolerance policy” for abusive, harrassing, or degrading language. Someone says, “men are just so insensitive” or “men aren’t capable of thinking about other people” or “men are afraid of intimacy” (these are some examples of comments I’ve heard in groups of women). Nobody does anything or says anything. So much for your ‘zero tolerance policy’. In fact, what you have is a ‘fifty per cent tolerance policy’. It’s okay to say crappy things about men, about the size of their privates as relates to the size of their hands/feet/noses/thumbs, but the minute a man makes a comment about a woman’s breasts, all hell breaks loose and there’s a meeting. Or a series of meetings. Or a court case.
So my question is – where’s the line, here? A lot of these sorts of comments are made in jest, or are the sorts of things we might rib each other about in a social situation. Is the workplace a social situation? If I come to your house and make comments about the man of the house’s virility, is that cool? And why do folks assume that there is some kind of magic gender-based osmosis barrier? I mean, when do we get to the point where we can just say “that thing you said offended me”, and not have it be about gender (or for that matter, religion, culture, sexual orientation, hair colour, intelligence, ability, etc.)? I mean, why do we have to issuize everything?
Well, that’s just one of my questions.
Question 1) Why is it okay to be demeaning toward men, but you’ll get fired and fined if you do it to women, especially if you’re a man (other women sometimes get a walk on this one)?
Question 2) When do we get to stop talking about ‘isms’ and just accept that some people get offended by the things we say, and that we need to learn to just say we’re sorry and be *nice* (Gah. I keep harping on this ‘be effing NICE to each other’; but it’s just so gorram SIMPLE, peeps. Really. Just don’t be a douche. I think I’m’a make some shirts that say DBAD and give them out FER FREE. Want one?)
Question 3) Is this what one’s 30s are about? Trying to figure things out? I mean, is this why we’re all essentially idjits until we’ve passed our mid-twenties (how’s that DBAD treating you, cenobyte? Good? Excellent then. Love, under-mid-twenties peeps)?
Question 4) Are you bored yet? Tired of hearing cenobyte rant? Suggest a topic! Try to derail cenobyte’s train of thou….SHINY!
Question 5) What is WITH these people?
The Comment of the Day goes to Our Friend Ferlak, Jedi Master:
Despite decades of progress things are still unequal. Simply put: men are from the Empire, women are from the Rebel Alliance. Blowing up Alderaan is a tragedy, blowing up Death Stars is heroism