The Waggle Dance

I have a houseful of honey.

I am an apiator. An apiatrix

I have bees.

Okay, no matter how I say it, it just sounds weird.

As I was cleaning out the eaves today, on the hot hot roof in the hot hot sun…the glorious hot hot sun…I checked out the “fake” chimney we have over our bathroom. I say “fake” because it is attached to nothing. At one time, when our house boasted a woodburning stove, this chimney was functional. Now, it just looks pretty. I’d seen some bugs swarming around the chimney earlier this summer, and while I was up there, I took the opportunity to check it out.

Turns out they’re happy bumbly bees! Living in our fake chimney! Which means all I have to do is put a spigot on the chimney over the stove, and we’ll have FREE HONEY FOREVER!!!

It also explains all the dead bees I saw in the snow on our roof last year.

I’m torn between letting them be happy in there, all bee-ey and buzzey, and trying to find someone who’s skilled enough at relocating a hive of bees to do so. Advice?

I mean, they’re not *bothering* anyone. And their hive is in a disused chimney that’s closed off, so it’s not like they’re causing any damage….

  8 comments for “The Waggle Dance

  1. 26 September 2010 at 8:41 pm

    Leave’um be(e). It means the plants near you will do much better as they help polinate them, and really, they only get agressive if they’re fucked with. And they keep other critters out who may become a problem. You don’t see many wasps around a bee hive.

  2. 26 September 2010 at 8:42 pm

    Oh and that reminds me. Wanna know what the Anishinabeg word for honey is? Apo opo. Apo is bee. Opo is shit. Heh. One of my favorite words. :)

  3. 26 September 2010 at 9:27 pm

    Lucky you to have a healthy hive! Keep ’em and let them contribute to the pollination of the plants in your area.

  4. Smarty Pants
    27 September 2010 at 8:46 am

    I would look into what kind of potential damage they can do to wood. They’re nice in the chimney, but do you want an *attic* full of bees and damaged structure?
    If there’s no way they can grow their hive into your home, I say keep ’em.

    • 27 September 2010 at 5:51 pm

      I’ve contacted the provincial apiatrist (did you know we had a provincial Bee Guy!!?? I didn’t!!!) to get his recommendation. I’d *like* to keep them, considering the only other varmints we have up there are bats and squirrels.

  5. 27 September 2010 at 7:03 pm

    …I thought I saw a comment from DK on here earlier, and now it’s gone…did I eff up and accidentally baleet your comment, DK? I seem to remember reading something about how you recommend against letting them Be(e)? Be(e)cause you had bees in your baseboards this summer? And they were Bothersome?

  6. DK
    29 September 2010 at 6:55 pm

    It’s confusing, even for me, because I responded to one of your waggle posts that turned up on Facebook, only one of which originated here. I said we had bees in the wall of our basement and took extreme measures to get them out. We whacked all the bees we’d find buzzing or crawling around in the basement every morning. We poisoned them with Sevin from the outside and diatomacious (sp?) earth from the inside. Then we cut out the wallboard, scraped out the hive and scrubbed the walls till all trace of wax and wing was gone. The reason was this — the web site we consulted said that any material, honey, wax, dead bee bodies, will attract (a) other bees, who want in on the honeyfest (b) a variety of other insects, who want to gnaw on honey, comb wax, bee bodies, or whatever else they find lying in their path — like, a house and (c) rodents as well are attracted to honey and old beeswax. So, better safe than sorry. Even if some people can never remember which is better — safe, or sorry. We’re unbeed, and resting easier for it.

    But, you can baleet all the jarhax I ever renclep here and I won’t compwhine. There’s always plenty more where those came from.

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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