This is Poe the Cat. He is a dick. His nickname is Mungbrain the Cat. He believes he was in a movie once (he was not) and that he played the captain of the guards (he did not; it was Jason Bateman) and that it was a, and I’m quoting the cat here, “seminal role” (it was not. It was ancillary at best).
Poe likes long sleeps in whatever piece of furniture or fabric you least want cat hair on, such as your pillow or clean laundry. His favourite movie is the one he was in (he doesn’t even remember what movie it was), and he hates rap music and “anything twangy because it sounds like cat torture” (I said he was a dick, not an idiot).
Poe’s greatest turn ons are tricking people into thinking he enjoys them petting him and then biting them. His greatest turn offs are the dogs. He also likes cheese and tuna.
When asked what he would do if he had the chance to change the world, Poe said “nothing, asshole; that’s your problem.”
Cats are GREAT.