So, apparently Bob the Builder has muridaephilic boots. Do you know how I know this? Because Stitchface (otherwise known as The Nipper) is watching Bob the Builder. Do you know why? Because he was practising his ability to plummet earlier today, and while he had thought far ahead enough to push a mattress up against the bottom of the stairs, and what Galileo didn’t talk about on the Tower of Pisa is that while objects of the same mass fall at the same rate, objects with greater air resistance fall much slower, owing to the friction between the air and…well…the falling mass.
Unfortunately, Stitchface is not particularly air resistant. In fact, he’s made of fairly compact material that plummets rather well. Doubly unfortunate that he is also comprised of some fairly gangly bits that stick out at odd places. Well, in today’s plummet practise, Stitchface somehow missed his mark and landed wonky on his ankle.
It doesn’t seem to be broken, just twisted. But Dear God, the histrionics. Pass the Golden Globe; this kid is going to be up for an Oscar soon.