Someone’s Sleeping, Lord

We tend to surround ourselves with like-minded thinkers; people who understand, if not agree with our politics, our, as Ignatius J. Reilly would say, “world view”, and our humour. By and large. We have small differences here and there, but for the most part the lion, it is said, does not lay with the lamb. There are a few exceptions to this rule in every social circle, including my own.

So I guess I just don’t understand, on a very basic level, why right wing-nuts seem to think it’s at all insulting to call me (and many of my peeps) ‘granola’, or ‘earth muffin’, or ‘crunchy’. They seem to toss these epithets around like a bunch of jocks coming up with new and crueller ways of insulting fat kids, ugly girls, and geeks. But here’s the difference, at least for me: they’re right.

I *do* eat (and make!) granola. And it’s very good granola! I *am* an earth muffin! I define “earth muffin” as “someone who cares about the future of this planet; someone who believes that human activity has an effect on every ecosystem on this planet; someone who believes that it’s a good idea to continue to study alternate (and additional) forms of energy generation; someone who believes in reducing our dependence on non-renewable resources; someone who believes in conservation of habitat and of species; someone who believes in healing rather than treating symptoms”. And ‘crunchy’? I’m ABSOLUTELY crunchy. That’s because I have bones. Everything with bones is crunchy. And if you think about it, what’s the opposite of crunchy? Smooshy. Marshmallowy. Soft.

I am *perfectly happy* being crunchy, thank you very much.

I am a card-carrying socialist. The leftmost party in this country is not left enough for me. Political leftism scares the shit out of right wing-nuts because they (the right wing-nuts) think socialists want to take all their money and give it away to poor people. And, really, *they’re right*. We don’t mind being accused of the truth. But we go further than that. It’s a complete ruse that socialists are in favour of huge governments and bureaucracies. In fact, you’d be hard-pressed to find a card-carrying socialist who’s all “oooh! Yeah! We need MORE PEOPLE RUNNING THINGS!” What we want is co-operative management of the economy. We want to actually have impact into how governments spend money and how they budget.

In a truly socialist economy, everyone would work for the common good. What’s the common good? Look at a very small scale example. You live in a family, or in a communal house with roommates. If everyone does their share of chores; if everyone shares equitably, by way of bills, groceries, etc., everyone benefits and no one does more than their share. In families, we take care of the very young and the very old, of the infirm and of the ill. All socialists are saying is that we’re all family. All of us. Every human on earth is part of the same family.

I’m not entirely certain why people are so concerned about their money and their stuff. Most folks work their arses off to get more money to get more things. But to what end? To have more things? To leave more things to your kids when you die? At the end of it all, are you going to look back on your life and regret not having had more things, or are you going to look back and regret not spending more time doing the things you love with the people you love? I fundamentally don’t understand people who’d agree with the first part.

And that’s why it’s not an insult to call me ‘crunchy’ or ‘earth muffin’ or ‘birkenstock-wearing’ (I do wear Birks, although I prefer going barefoot), or ‘tree-hugging’ (I only hug trees when I’m *very* drunk), or ‘long-haired’ (I do have long hair, and I don’t shave), or ‘unwashed’ (it’s mean, but it’s also untrue. I wash frequently. With hand-made soap.). It’s hilarious to hear folks use ‘socialist’ or ‘left-wing-nut’ as if they were insults.

cenobyte
cenobyte is a writer, editor, blogger, and super genius from Saskatchewan, Canada.

4 Comments

  1. “If everyone does their share of chores; if everyone shares equitably, by way of bills, groceries, etc., everyone benefits and no one does more than their share.”

    I would propose that “IF” is one of the major issues. I’ll freely admit that I lean right of centre (GASP!!!). And speaking for myself, I like my toys, I like my “stuff”. I like being able to provide toys and stuff for my family and friends because I get enjoyment out of doing so. And I hate the sense of entitlement that I have to deal with in other people who are allegedly my friends and family. Much less complete strangers.

    I do have an issue with my (adult) kidling who lives in my basement and figures he can just raid the fridge anytime he wants, run the hot water for an hour long shower and deprive everyone else in the family of a hot shower, lounge on the internet in all his spare time, and then he gets all pissy when I hound him to help with the dishes a few times a week, or take the garbage to the bin on his way to work.

    I do have an issue with my outlaws who criticize me for spoiling my family (because working my job plus my part-time jobs so I can afford real cheese and actual meat, and pay for my girl’s extracurricular activities instead of living on bologna and kraft dinner and letting her laze in front of the TV to watch Honey Booboo makes me living in the lap of luxury), and then call me an asshole because I won’t pay for their late power bills and buy their groceries because they blew their money on their cigarette addiction and video slots.

    I’m not saying that everyone is on their own. For those that truly need assistance and support, I want my funds to go to their social safety net. I have other family that suffer from mental health issues and I’ve experienced first-hand the lowest that they can go. (Its truly a surreal experience when you get a call that a family member was about to be exterminated by a SWAT team in a foreign country). I want help for them. And I have no issue that a share of my earnings is supposed to go to those that NEED.

    I don’t really care to see my hard work and efforts going to proverbial leeches. The ones that have the capability to be more self-sufficient and prefer to just piggyback on my efforts, then have the audacity to piss and moan when I won’t just freely hand over the PIN for my bank card which apparently magically has enough money to support 3 households.

    On a side note: I love just hanging out in nature whether by myself or with the family. I’ll just hike away, build my own shelter and live off the land for a few days at a time. Some of my fondest memories. But in the same token, it was even more fun doing it with a nice rucksack, decent sheath knife and tomahawk, solid boots, warm sleeping bag, Goretex rain gear and some extra funds in my pocket in case I chose to have dinner at a steakpit because the fish just weren’t biting that day :) And having the funds to outfit my girl too means that she gets to participate as well. With enough funds, we can do this while visiting my brother who lives out of province and doesn’t get much of a chance to visit his neice and nephew more than once every couple of years.

    Homer: Marge, I agree with you, in theory.
    In theory, communism works.
    In theory.

    1. Oh, hey hey hey.
      Nobody said anything about COMMUNISM.
      I don’t believe in communism. At all.

      As to all your other points, I can totally see the frustration and the anger at people who take advantage of you.

      I’m positive there will never be a system that works 100%, 100% of the time, whether the government that institutes it is right-wing or left-wing. That makes me terribly sad.

      1. hehe, I only included the Simpson’s line with a reference to how things always work…in theory ;)

        Once you introduce the human condition, all bets are off.

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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