centre of the universe

Slugs of the Wine Mountain

You know, I’m heartened by the news that somewhere in the world, you can’t be fired if you’re drunk. It’s a sign the world is moving in the right direction. And, I wish I’d had, many more resources when I was young that would teach me about things like boogers, smegma, and the seven diseases grown-ups get.

So this is the thing.

I am continually surprised to find out that I am a rather terrible communicator. I always thought I was, you know, kinda good at that. It’s been a fairly large part of what I consider to be my ‘calling’…or at the very least, one of the things about me I feel good about. Also, this is, apparently, International Oh Hey Is That A Shiny Thing Day.

Oh hey! Is that a shiny thing?!!

I thought about posting something on the Federal budget, but the thought police caught up with me and insisted I should instead eat a pile of salted peanuts. And so I did.

What’s your favourite colour?

Posted

in

by

cenobyte

Tags:

Comments

5 responses to “Slugs of the Wine Mountain”

  1. melistress Avatar
    melistress

    The federal budget isn’t worth posting about. It is merely smoke and mirrors.purple.

    Reply
  2. Silent Winged Coyote Avatar
    Silent Winged Coyote

    Green.

    Reply
  3. brielle Avatar
    brielle

    periwinkle.its the crayon we all fought over in elementary school. only the rich kids got the 64 pack with the sharpener on the back and it had periwinkle. also chartreuse. that is all.

    Reply
  4. Parmeisan Avatar
    Parmeisan

    … You know what, I think I get it. I think that America was destroyed when somebody hit a button putting that valenok on the control board.

    Reply
  5. Parmeisan Avatar
    Parmeisan

    In a search for International Oh Hey Is That A Shiny Thing Day, I found this joke, which I do not get. I was hoping you could help out.“Somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, two submarines, Soviet and American, come to the surface. The Soviet one is old and rusty; the American one is new and shiny. On the Soviet one, the crew lounges about without any order, and a drunken captain yells at them: ‘Who threw a valenok (traditional Russian winter footwear made of felt) on the control board? I’m asking you, who threw a valenok on the control board?!’. From the American submarine, a shaved, sober and well-dressed captain, notes sarcastically: ‘You know, folks, in America…’. The Russian captain interrupts him, screaming: ‘America? America??! There is none of your fucking America anymore!’ (Turns back to the crew) ‘Who threw a valenok onto the control board?!’”Also, yellow.Also… oooh, shiny!And… did you know, re: the federal budget, that Mr. Stupid (your MP) was quoted as saying (with respect to the idea that this deficit can be paid off in the next 5 years) “We’re certainly banking on it” (and, I can only imagine, “ha ha ha”). !!!!! Not funny!!

    Reply

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.