His Nibs and I went to a Store yesterday for the purpose of purchasing a Bed.
“Dear God, cenobyte,” you are thinking, “have you no BED!? How can you *live* like that?”
Rest assured, gentle reader, I have a bed. It is a fine bed. A noble bed. A warm and inviting bed. However, His Nibs and I have wanted a Ridiculously Enormous Bed for some time, and yesterday turned out to be the day on which that particular bed was purchased.
During the trying-out-the-bed-phase, His Nibs and I were lying on a couple of tester beds at the bed shop, and one of the bed shop employees said, “now you two, you go ahead and try out the bed, but no funny business.”
I said, “So what’s funny business?”
She said, “If you two do any funny stuff in here, I’m going to spank you.”
I blurted out: “PROMISE!?” And then clamped my hand over my face hard enough to send my glasses flying across the room.
His Nibs groaned and hid his face under the try-out-bed pillow.
This is why he can’t take me to nice places.
Like bed stores.