I started this post in an entirely different manner. Then I erased everything and started again. I don’t know why (or indeed if) that’s important. It seemed poignant.
I am tired of being taken for granted.
So. Here are some ground rules:
- Don’t ask for advice you have no intention of following. If the only reason you’re asking my opinion is to hear someone agree with you, we can not be friends.
- Don’t ask for support then walk away. I will be here for you if you need me to be. But if I’m not good enough for you, we can not be friends.
- Don’t pretend. Just….just don’t fucking pretend. Fake doesn’t look good on you and manipulation doesn’t work on me. And if you *do* try to manipulate me, we can not be friends.
- Put in some fucking effort. If ALL you do is send an email or chat once in a while, that’s at least some effort. If you can’t even be arsed to do that, we can not be friends.
- If you’re going to continually choose your cooler, more fun friends over me, we can not be friends. This goes hand-in-hand with don’t fucking pretend. I’m not some frumpy, sad friend from high school who’s just so fucking grateful that someone’s paying attention to her that she’ll be friends with ANYONE and who ends up being a great sponge for all your shite.
- I’m not interested in your platitudes. Don’t tell me things you think I want to hear. If you say things because you think those things are what people are expected to say, or if you think I need to hear your sweet goddamned nothings, we can not be friends.
- Remember to say please and thank you. If you can’t remember these basic manners from the second year of your life and onward, we can not be friends.
- Don’t ask me to do something for you that you’re not willing to do or to try to do on your own.
- Stop using me. Stop taking me for granted.
Words and actions tell very different stories. And this past year, I’ve been reminded why we should focus on the latter rather than the former. Yeah, I take note of the little things. Usually the little things go way further than the grand gestures anyway.
Apologies for sounding like such an arse. It’s just that I’ve had about as much as I can take of certain attitudes.