Eleventy Billion Years Ago, when the earth was still young and the rivers ran pure across the land, the people wished to live in peace, and harmony. But they were scared of everything, and realised that they had Much To Do before they could be happy. In fact, along with hunting, and gathering, and tilling the soil, they had all this other stuff that needed to be done, like fishing, and running the settlements, and coming up with creation myths.
The people began to plan things, and plot against one another, because they didn’t have time for fun, what with the making spears and tanning hides and hitting each other in the head with rocks.
But then unto those people was born a beautiful, vibrant baby girl. Also, a strange Raggedy Ann doll that introduced fear and paranoia into the world. The amazing baby girl did her best to punch Raggedy Ann in the face at every opportunity. In the creepiest of creepy things, no matter how often or how hard she was punched, Raggedy Ann never stopped smiling. It was as if Raggedy Ann knew something she wasn’t sharing with the rest of us. Creepy little thing.
Anyway, while the world is still overrun with Raggedy Ann dolls and face-eating clowns, the incredible, wickedly intelligent baby girl grew up to be the Most Important Person Ever. Named cenobyte, she would eventually be the intermediary between the centre of the universe and…well…everyone and everything in the universe.
And this is the day we all celebrate the arrival of the cenobyte.