Doctor Who? Two.

I met a new doctor today.

Don’t know how I feel about it, really. On the one hand, finding family physicians in this neck of the woods is kind of like shooting ducks in the dark; you just kind of aim at the sky and hope you hit something that quacks. On the other hand, my standards are pretty high here, because I’m trying to find someone to replace the best doctor in the known universe, and that’s not an easy task. So maybe I’m just really judging too harshly here.

I asked the doctor to refer me to an endocrinologist. The doctor asked why. I said, “because I have the metabolism of that examination table”.

The doctor said, “why?”

I said, “uh. Because I’ve been going to the gym for an hour a day for the past ten months, and eating a balanced diet, and this past month weighed more than I’ve ever weighed in my life.”

Doctor said, “What do you eat for breakfast?”

I said, “I change it up. Usually hot cereal with yogurt or boiled eggs.”

Doctor said, “You’re not getting any protein.”

I said, “Um.”

And from that moment, didn’t believe the doctor knew a gorram thing. So that by the time the doctor advised me that the best bet for me to have my lipomas removed is to go to a plastic surgery clinic that does everything, the doctor assured me, from removing lipomas to botox to breast implants, I was thinking, “crap on a cracker. This is NOT going to work.”

So while that doctor gives me the whole “Fine. I’ll give you a referral to the endocrinologist you want to see, but I’m going to make you wait until May because that’s not the endocrinologist I usually work with” routine, I’m still looking for a new family doctor. Because at the end of my appointment, I was angry.

Doctor X didn’t take *any* family history. Didn’t ask me *anything* about whether I smoke or drink or do drugs. Asked me about my surgical history, and the names of my family members, but that’s it. And when the doctor advised me to consider eating whole grains for the carbohydrate portion of my diet, I replied with: “we do that already, in fact. We don’t eat a lot of processed food. We make our own noodles, even.”

The doctor answered me with a scoff and, “well, WHOLE grains are more than just making your own noodles.”

Which is true, I guess. But.

Yesterday was Day of People being Asshats to cenobyte.

  13 comments for “Doctor Who? Two.

  1. 14 December 2010 at 7:42 am

    So that doctor said there’s no protein in eggs? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!?! Man, I don’t blame you for being angry.
    I really hope you find a good doctor soon!

    • 14 December 2010 at 1:36 pm

      Dude.
      The doctor said there wasn’t protein in yoghurt (which is just wrong) and that there wasn’t *enough* protein in eggs. She pulled out the Canada Food Guide, which I already know does not work for my metabolism.

      She was all, “you need two proteins and…”

      And I was all, “I get enough proteins.”

      And she was all, “but you don’t eat protein for breakfast.”

      And I was all, “I often have eggs and I always have yoghurt”

      And she was all, “well. That’s not enough. You need 1 protein at breakfast, and 1/2 at lunch and 1/2 at dinner.”

      And I was all, “thanks! I’ll consider that!” Which means, in cenobytese, “go ram a stethoscope up your anus and remove it via your left ear”.

  2. Bock
    14 December 2010 at 8:01 am

    Sounds like par for the course unfortunately. I find most Doctors these days listen to ~1/3 of what you say, while mining the other 2/3 for ways to prescribe you whatever gets them on that “conference” held at some golf resort in Florida.

    On the other hand, I think they are right in being a touch cynical on diet. I would think that most people talk the talk, but fall down on the walking part.

    • 14 December 2010 at 2:04 pm

      Fair enough.

      I am not most people.

    • BPM IV
      14 December 2010 at 4:29 pm

      “ways to prescribe you whatever gets them on that “conference” held at some golf resort in Florida.”

      Stop. Stop right there. Speaking as a physician’s spouse, it doesn’t work like that. At all. It’s illegal. If you know of any doc (or pharma co.) doing this, report them.

      As it is, the most Mrs. BPM IV has gotten is a nice lunch while the reps do educational / sales meetings over lunch hour – the reps *do* know where the good food is. ;-)

      But other than that, no. No free trips. Just thought I’d clear that up.

      • 14 December 2010 at 8:24 pm

        In Canada, that is. I hear that in the ‘States, it’s quite different.

        My doctor (the good one) used to get really upset by pharmaceutical companies giving out free samples to physicians. I supported his upsettitude.

        • BPM IV
          15 December 2010 at 1:01 pm

          Those free samples have a two-fold benefit, though:

          1. They’re often good to test a change in medication without forcing you to buy another prescription.

          2. A lot of docs I know will use them to ‘top up’ people who don’t have the financial means to always get their prescription filled.

          Agreed about the USA, but even there, I’ve heard it’s becoming far more regulated, especially in a hospital setting. Mainly due to (what else) the threat of lawsuits. Otherwise, I’m not sure just what the precise regulations there are. I’ll bug my mom as she would have a better idea and let you know what the situation is in TX.

          • 16 December 2010 at 8:53 pm

            Many things have a purpose, but that doesn’t mean there *isn’t* an ulterior motive by big pharm. Which is to say, it’s not that I don’t trust folks like your gorgeous wife. It means I don’t trust the pharmaceutical companies that are pushing their crap. I believe folks like your gorgeous wife are actually really concerned about their patients, and give a shit.

            I wish, in fact, that more doctors like your gorgeous wife would go into general practice, so that I could go to them rather than to the quacks who tell me that yoghurt has no protein in it and that I need to go to a plastic surgeon.

  3. mrgod2u
    14 December 2010 at 8:28 am

    See this is why I don’t trust just any doctor (only competent ones). I remember some of the people in medicine while I was in university, and I wouldn’t trust them with anything more complex than draining a keg…

    When my wife went to this doctor in Edmonton for Elleke’s 6 month (more like 7 by the time we got in) she told her to stop breastfeeding Elleke b/c it was past 6 months. When my wife told her that was the stupidest thing she had ever heard, the doctor threatened to go get “the book”. My wife walked out and never went back to lady doctor asshat.

    • 14 December 2010 at 1:32 pm

      I had the same experience with a doctor in Regina. He told me to stop nursing The Nipper because that’s what was making The Nipper have projectile vomiting when he was teething.

      I stood up and said, “thank you very much!” and never went back.

  4. 14 December 2010 at 10:11 am

    Welcome to my life. This is what the rest of us who never had the best doctor in the known universe go through all the time. My doctor told me she would refer me to an endocrinologist two years ago. I still haven’t heard from anyone. Mind you, the wait in Saskatchewan is supposed to be insanely high due to a serious shortage of that sort of specialist. So if you get in any time within the next 18 months I will be surprised.

    Sigh…good luck honey. Finding a good doctor anywhere now is hard. In other provinces the doctors are interviewing you and if your medical history is too colourful, they turn you away. No time. Not enough doctors. They are too tired to care.

    • 14 December 2010 at 1:33 pm

      In fact, our health region just hired two new endocrinologists. And if I don’t hear from them in the next month, I’ll be going to get a referral from whatever doctor will give me one, and I’ll be checking with the endocrinologist I asked for. I’m pretty pro-active about my health care.

      The wait in Regina is 3-6 months.

      • 14 December 2010 at 9:10 pm

        Normally I am proactive too…I went to my doctor’s office about six times for a referral before she agreed to one (and now I’m not so sure about that either). I just got so damn tired of having to fight with doctors all the time to get what I need. And going to another doctor around here just isn’t really an option. I’m lucky I have a doctor at all at this point. When I did leave her for awhile I was practically assaulted with a speculum during a pap smear. GAH!

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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