Bloodless Coup! Bloodless Coup!

Forgive my sick fascination with what’s happening in our government. On 8th December, our Governor General will have to decide whether Canadians are going back to the polls mere weeks after the last farce of an election, or whether she’s going to allow A SOCIALIST COUP OF OUR NEO-FASCIST GOVERNMENT!!!

You know what? It was really, *really* fun to write that. I mean, I don’t know that I actually believe that our current government is neo-fascist…or even pico-fascist. In fact, I don’t think the Conservatives are fascists at all. I think Stephen Harper is a totalitarian control freak, but, you know, I didn’t vote for him or for any of his lackeys.

And you know what else? I’ve been watching CPAC (yes, I’ve been watching CPAC), and I just heard an MP say something about how terrible the “Socialist coalition” is. This is nearly as bad as Jerry Springer. Seriously. I’m waiting for Jack Layton to throw a chair at Stephen Harper, and Stephane Dion to cower and scream like a schoolgirl. I just heard another Conservative MP from Alberta refer to the coalition as a ‘banana republic’, which is HILARIOUS. From Wikipedia:

Banana Republic is a pejorative term for a small country that is politically unstable, dependent on limited agriculture, and ruled by a small, self-elected, wealthy, and corrupt clique.

That pretty much sounds like what we have right now. And has nothing to do with the SOCIALIST THREAT. I’m randomly using all-caps because you should fear socialists. You should fear us like you fear toe fungus and sudden attacks of uncontrollable vomiting. You should fear us because we want to tear down your economic stability and take your money away from you so that we can give it to people who don’t deserve it as much as you do because they have mental illness, social challenges, and/or historical inequity.

You should fear socialists because we’re all clinically insane. We’re all also of substandard intelligence because we simply don’t *understand* the *reality* of how federal economics *really work*. And we don’t understand human nature.

You should fear me, in particular, because I am a socialist. I want to restrict, nay, take away your freedom. I want to regulate every aspect of your life I want to harm your children by allowing them to be exposed to equal rights for all Canadians, regardless of the shape of their dangly bits, the shade of their skin, or the functionality of their minds. And you know what happens when people go crazy? They all turn into socialists and start typing randomly in all caps.

So many people are whining because the SOCIALIST COUP of the federal government is UNDEMOCRATIC and DANGEROUS because it involves co-operation with PINKOS, LOSERS, and SEPARATISTS. Because “well, *I* didn’t vote for any of those three assholes”. Well, you know what? The majority of the tiny majority of Canadians who voted in the last farce of an election that was (debatably) illegally called by a fellow who broke several of his own campaign promises immediately after taking office did not vote for the assholes currently in power. The fact of the matter is that what’s happening now is the right of the opposition parties. It is a function of the parliamentary system. It is the right of the people who HAVE been elected by the majority of Canadians.

And I’m so damned happy it’s happening. It’s a bloody shame it had to happen over political parties getting funding from the federal government and not over something more important, but I’m really glad the straw has broken the camel’s back. Because really, you should only allow someone to beat the crap out of you for so long before you take a stand.

I also think it’s unfortunate that it’s not Batman Jack who’s going to be our interim Prime Minister, since I think he’s better able to handle it than Stephane Dion. However, I have a little something for Monsieur Dion and Batman Jack:

  9 comments for “Bloodless Coup! Bloodless Coup!

  1. yarn_grrl
    2 February 2010 at 1:26 pm

    This post made my day. The coalition made my entire Giftmas season. It is just awesome that I am either getting a new election or a coalition government for Giftmas. YAY!

  2. Beijing York
    2 February 2010 at 1:26 pm

    Great rant. That made my day!

  3. Saskboy
    2 February 2010 at 1:26 pm

    I think the over the top rhetoric from the Conservatives about “coup” and “socialism” is going to wear out intelligent Canadians until they support the coalition so much, it will get reelected next time in 2011 too.

  4. Silent Winged Coyote
    2 February 2010 at 1:26 pm

    Of course, that video you put up has a comma splice in it.Fuckin’ socialist leftards. :)Enjoy Ceno! :)(Psst, btw, my word verification is eummi, I thought for a moment it said gummi. Now I want some gummi bears. Or to watch the old Disney cartoon.)

  5. generalwolfe
    2 February 2010 at 1:26 pm

    Hey, I totally linked to you as a lone SOCIALIST voice thinking twice about the coaltion! And my key “hey look there’s a progressive that doesn’t assume Harper is worse for Canada that Duceppe” has turned as well.Now I’m down to Grumpy Voter, who I realize is in the blogging NEOFASCISTS, and like 2 others. This is all the work of Saskboy, using my links to zero in on FASCIST SYMPATHIZING DISSENT.

  6. NightWatcher
    2 February 2010 at 1:26 pm

    Thank you! Love it! I have so much angst from listening to Cons all day that’s now melting away as I listen to Tubthumper. :)

  7. Der Kaptin
    2 February 2010 at 1:26 pm

    Hurray. Cenobyte for PM. Why not? There’s nothing saying the coalition can’t contain the cool. My wv is “baeing” which is either being or bang. Or both.

  8. xenophile
    2 February 2010 at 1:26 pm

    We probably ain’t gonna get the coalition any time soon… Harper will likely prorogue parliament until January 27th, when his budget is due to be released. The Gov Gen will probably let him, since there’s no real precedent for her to refuse. And if the budget fails, Harper will ask her to let him call another election, and blame it on the opposition. So we might still be in for another election by spring.Fingers crossed that Michaelle Jean is listening to the majority of Canadians and allows the coalition to take their shot, precedent or no precedent.

  9. Viper Pilot
    2 February 2010 at 1:26 pm

    Hah hah, I made you say ‘leftard’, Coyote.I love the smell of a meme spreading in the morning.

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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