A Letter to a Doctor

An Open Letter to Dr. Jean Grey:

I know you’re all effed up, what with the Phoenix Effect and all but *must* you continue to make Colossally Bad Decisions? Scott Summers, in case you haven’t noticed, is a complete douche. Trust me. The minute you die, he’s going to take off with a scantily-clad whore.

Now, before you go all über PMS Dark Phoenix all over the place, just hear what I have to say. Or, better yet, read what I have to write. It’s not your fault Scott is a douche. I suspect he’s always been a douche. Jocks who shoot laser beams out of their eyes are like that (I remember high school quite well). But there’s a Much Better Choice for you!

Look I don’t want to tell you how to live your life; I’m fairly sure I couldn’t tell you how to live your life even if I wanted to. It’s just that…

Jesus, Jean, Logan loves you. And you couldn’t ask for a better guy. He’s sensitive, has a wonderful dry sense of humour, he’s smart, incredibly sexy (those sideburns could make a nun give up her habits), he has a skeleton of pure adamantium and **he’s Canadian**. Honestly. You can’t ask for a better guy.

Ditch the jock. He doesn’t deserve you.

If you’re not interested at all in Logan, then the very least you should do is quit screwing with him. There are plenty of other women out there, me included, who would sell their own grandmothers for a go. Solid adamantium, Jean. **ADAMANTIUM**.

So, in conclusion, I don’t want to incur the wrath of the Phoenix, Dark or White, but seriously. Who’s going to take better care of you? Logan (James H., whatever) would give his life for you, and has tried more than once. Scott Summers is more concerned with his hair and the inseam cut of his new costume. Sure, he pays lip service to love, but it sure didn’t take him long to find someone else after you “died”. Some folks say you put that suggestion in his head – to ‘find someone else’…and if you did do that, was it ever really love? Would you really WANT the love of your life to choose the White Whore rather than mourn you? What’s the MATTER with you?

Okay, I’ve been kind of cruel here. But honestly. Please don’t explode the sun with your wrath. At least, not until the end of summer. I’d hate to have the universe end on a cold, blizzardy day in March.

ADAMANTIUM, Jean. Canadian Adamantium.

Sincerely,
cenobyte

cenobyte
cenobyte is a writer, editor, blogger, and super genius from Saskatchewan, Canada.

5 Comments

  1. Maybe if the good/evil doctor hadn’t been so CLEARLY stringing him along in hopes of catching the hairy man’s attention, he wouldn’t have gotten over her so quickly. Scott baby, if you need more help getting over Jean, I’m there for you.

  2. Hey, no-one’s denying she’s a trollop. And this works out perfectly. You can share spit with Scott, and I will be a safe haven for Logan.

  3. ah, the good old days when there was only a single x-title and chris claremont juggled as many storylines as all of the rest of the current ones combined. btw, i was never a fan of scott, except that his dad was part of the starjammers.

  4. psst..Logan can’t come to your safe haven. He’s locked up tight as a drum in my dungen. Mistress Brielle is helping him cope with this. heh…I am so evil!!!

  5. Are you in denial or what? Sure Logan is that puppy-dog sappy dudley do-right Canadian faithful goody goody good guy. He’s husband material, adamantium and all. But unconditional love can beBooooooooring. Jean Grey’s psyche is a little more complex than that. On one hand, she needs a little (or more than a little) danger to keep her sap running. On the other hand, she needs a guy to be a little aloof, a little unavailable, one who’ll make her work to have him cast his laser-beams her way. It more closely matches her own self-image of not-entire-worthiness so she trusts it more. And so she’s earned her pleasure when she gets it. And, on the third hand, she knows how vulnerable Logan’s puppy-dog love for her makes him, and she realizes it’s hurt him a little now, or let him fall into her and be completely devastated when the inevitable comes somewhere not too far down the line. She’s part good girl too. At least, she’s trying.

i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.

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