An Open Letter to Dr. Jean Grey:
I know you’re all effed up, what with the Phoenix Effect and all but *must* you continue to make Colossally Bad Decisions? Scott Summers, in case you haven’t noticed, is a complete douche. Trust me. The minute you die, he’s going to take off with a scantily-clad whore.
Now, before you go all über PMS Dark Phoenix all over the place, just hear what I have to say. Or, better yet, read what I have to write. It’s not your fault Scott is a douche. I suspect he’s always been a douche. Jocks who shoot laser beams out of their eyes are like that (I remember high school quite well). But there’s a Much Better Choice for you!
Look I don’t want to tell you how to live your life; I’m fairly sure I couldn’t tell you how to live your life even if I wanted to. It’s just that…
Jesus, Jean, Logan loves you. And you couldn’t ask for a better guy. He’s sensitive, has a wonderful dry sense of humour, he’s smart, incredibly sexy (those sideburns could make a nun give up her habits), he has a skeleton of pure adamantium and **he’s Canadian**. Honestly. You can’t ask for a better guy.
Ditch the jock. He doesn’t deserve you.
If you’re not interested at all in Logan, then the very least you should do is quit screwing with him. There are plenty of other women out there, me included, who would sell their own grandmothers for a go. Solid adamantium, Jean. **ADAMANTIUM**.
So, in conclusion, I don’t want to incur the wrath of the Phoenix, Dark or White, but seriously. Who’s going to take better care of you? Logan (James H., whatever) would give his life for you, and has tried more than once. Scott Summers is more concerned with his hair and the inseam cut of his new costume. Sure, he pays lip service to love, but it sure didn’t take him long to find someone else after you “died”. Some folks say you put that suggestion in his head – to ‘find someone else’…and if you did do that, was it ever really love? Would you really WANT the love of your life to choose the White Whore rather than mourn you? What’s the MATTER with you?
Okay, I’ve been kind of cruel here. But honestly. Please don’t explode the sun with your wrath. At least, not until the end of summer. I’d hate to have the universe end on a cold, blizzardy day in March.
ADAMANTIUM, Jean. Canadian Adamantium.