I thought I was fortunate to be in those good graces. I thought that affection was a gift; that I was somehow special. Every lesson we learn comes at a price and the price of this lesson has been self-doubt, heartache, and sadness. This, like all other things, will pass.
This cannot sully the past, nor can it erase the memories, although there are times when the memories are cast into a colder, more unforgiving arena. It is as if I were climbing a rope ladder, only to find that as I approached the top, the rungs grew so narrow they were too wee to grip. So I’ve had to climb back down again. It’s not an insurmountable challenge. It’s another learning scar.
Someday I will be thankful for this experience. But that time is fairly far out yet. Dare I ask an indulgence?